Free Darkness Surrendered (Primal Heat Trilogy #3) (Order of the Blade) by Stephanie Rowe

Gideon, but his body was coiled, and he could feel himself readying to strike.
    Without a word, Ana draped herself across his chest and pressed her lips to his throat. Heat rushed through Elijah, and his rising panic subsided. He groaned and slipped his hands under her shirt, wrapping his arms around her back and holding her tight against him. The moment he felt Ana’s skin against his, Elijah knew once again that Gideon was his friend. Not a threat.
    Shit. He was fucked up. Couldn’t tell friend from foe unless he was feeling up Ana?
    Ana.
    Flashes of pain and torture began crowding his mind, and his body began to shake.
    “Shit.” Gideon stood up. “He’s snapping again.”
    “No. I’m not.” Elijah could tell the difference. He was being stalked by the nightmares, but he wasn’t losing his mind. With Ana hanging onto him, he was still in the present. Still had a thread of a grip on reality. He knew the shadows weren’t real, and he’d take that. Yeah, he had the most hellish images racing through his mind, and his stomach was churning...but his head was still clear.
    Or clear in comparison to what it was when she wasn’t touching him.
    He’d take sane and fucked up over insane and homicidal any day.
    Elijah suddenly realized the Order was standing around him, weapons still out, watching him with a wariness that made him feel like a crazed animal. He struggled to sit up, barely able to keep himself from wincing at the pain that knifed through his body. He kept one arm tight around Ana, even though it hurt like hell to use either arm.
    “Stop looking so damn worried. I’m fine.” No one looked convinced, and he had to grant them that. They were right not to relax around him. “How come no one’s tried to kill my sheva ?” The Order was the only thing standing in defense of humanity against rogue Calydons, so when an Order member met his sheva , she had to be sacrificed to allow her mate to continue fighting to protect humanity. It was either that or let him go rogue and destroy the entire fucking world. No Order sheva could be allowed to live, but no one was making a move toward Ana.
    “Because she can pull you back from total insanity.” Gideon grabbed Elijah’s arm to pull him to his feet. “Always a bonus when a woman can do that for you.” His voice got a little thick as Quinn grabbed Elijah’s other arm, and the two of them hauled him up. “I thought we’d lost you for sure, Elijah.” His gaze flicked to Ana. “Nice work.”
    “My good deed for the day.” She managed a smile as she tucked herself under Elijah’s arm, between Quinn and Elijah. It was exactly where Elijah needed her, pressed up against his side, and at the same time, his mind recoiled from the images haunting him. His soul needed her, his spirit craved her, but his mind saw her as the enemy. What the hell? He pulled her closer, needing her touch, but even as he did it, he realized she was too close to get away from him in time if he snapped. Shit. What the hell was he going to do?
    She looked at him, and he saw a wealth of conflict in her eyes. Like she knew what was going on inside his head. “You won’t hurt me.”
    “Fuck that,” he said. “I will.” Hell, if only she knew what he was, she wouldn’t look at him like he was a damned hero.
    “You need a shower,” Quinn interrupted. “You smell like shit, and you look worse.”
    He and Gideon started dragging Elijah toward the stairs, his busted leg trailing behind him. Elijah gritted his teeth against the pain, sweat pouring down his face as he tried to keep it together. “I don’t need to be carried.”
    “Yeah, I know, tough guy.” Quinn shot him a look. “Because they’re all just scratches, right?”
    “Right.” Elijah glanced behind him at the Order trailing after them, grimacing at all their wounds. Had he really done that? He caught Ana looking at him, and she gave a slight nod. Yes, that was you.
    He tensed, realizing she could touch his mind