And, I’d admit, I felt a bit like a mother hen, especially toward Julie, what with her being so new to the lifestyle.
Julie walked to where Sasha sat on the couch and knelt before her, taking her hands in hers. “You showed up at my house after, crying, shaking, and told me you were never going back. I sat by your side for weeks with you giving only one-word, yes-or-no answers. I love you like a sister and I finally have you back. I’m scared if you go to the party, the real you will disappear again.”
“The real me won’t return until I reclaim that part of my life.”
“What if going sets you back another three months?”
“What if it doesn’t?” Sasha squeezed Julie’s hands. “Don’t you see, I have to find out. I have to try. I see you and Daniel and how happy you are and I think,
That’s due in part to me.
I’m the one who urged you to join the group and I’ve watched you grow into a satisfied submissive and find peace with it. So call me jealous or greedy or whatever you want, but I had that once and I want it back. I need it back.”
Silent tears ran down Julie’s cheeks. “Promise me you won’t disappear inside yourself again.”
“I promise.” One lone tear escaped from Sasha’s eye. “If I feel a panic attack coming on, I know what to do. I’m not defenseless.”
Listening to her talk and seeing how she responded to Julie, I believed Sasha was ready. I vividly remembered how it was to long for domination and not have it. It was time for Sasha to return to the group. I glanced out of the corner of my eye to Dena, and she caught the movement and looked my way. I tilted my head toward Julie and Sasha and nodded. Dena smiled and returned the nod. She thought so, too. I would have to give my opinion to Nathaniel.
Julie stood. “Dena, will you talk to Jeff about Sasha attending? I’ll do the same with Daniel. And, Abby, you and Nathaniel will be revising the requirements for inclusion in group?”
“Yes,” I said. “I’ll talk to him about being sure there are rules in place that will allow Sasha to feel safe when she attends.”
“Thank you,” Sasha whispered.
“I feel like I’ve been out of it the last few weeks,” Dena said. “Is Peter still in the group? Will he be there?”
Sasha cringed at Peter’s name.
Julie sat down at Sasha’s side. “Yes, he’s still in the group. Master Greene hasn’t released him from mentoring yet, and he could come to the party. I don’t know if he will.”
“Maybe I’ll suggest to Nathaniel that it’d be a good idea for Master Greene to keep Peter from attending this party.” I looked over to Sasha. “Or is that overstepping my bounds? I think if I were in your place, I wouldn’t want him there the first time I returned.”
Relief washed over her expression. “If you don’t mind, that would be great. My fear of running into him again is part of what’s held me back. I know I have to face him, but it’s all about baby steps. I think it’ll be easier to meet with the group and then deal with him than to deal with him and then meet with the group.”
I nodded. “I agree. You shouldn’t do them both at the same time, and group first makes sense to me.”
“We’ll all be there for support, Sasha,” Julie said. “You won’t be alone.”
“You guys are the best.” Sasha looked as if she might cry again, but she blinked and nothing rolled down her cheek. “Now let’s talk about something fun. Dena, tell us about all your wedding plans.”
Chapter Six
NATHANIEL
A bby was out with Dena and her other friends from the Partners group, and I was having a tea party with Elizabeth and Henry. The children had somehow lured Apollo into joining us and they’d grown too quiet in the few minutes I stepped out of the room to make a quick call.
There were hushed whispers as I returned to Elizabeth’s room, but then I heard Henry squeal, “Pretty!” and I knew I’d come to Apollo’s rescue just in time. I stepped inside