Free Popular: Vintage Wisdom for a Modern Geek by Maya Van Wagenen Page A

disgust behind me. I turn around to see Flor, the leader of the Goth Art Chicks, glaring at me. “Maya!” she yells. “Every time I turn my head I see your giant ass in my face! I don’t know what the hell you think it looks like, but it’s not pretty! So MOVE!”
    She shoves past me to change on a different side of the room. Tears sting my eyes. But I steady myself and pull on my shorts.
    Maya’s Popularity Tip
    Never cry at school. Ever. Especially when it could smudge your Vaseline.
    Friday, December 9
    How do models deal with fading lipstick? Mine seems to disappear within ten minutes. Betty Cornell says to use a little powder on the lips before applying it and then blot any extra with a tissue. But that doesn’t work very well. Maybe it’s because I wear cheap grocery store makeup.
    I spend two hours on a teen fashion website searching for answers. After taking seven or eight quizzes, I find out the following:
My skin is “super oily”
My “fave look” is “natural”
My “winter hairstyle” is “upswept bun”
My “celeb skin match” is Selena Gomez
My eye makeup should be “Sexy and Chic” (Like that’s going to happen!)
    It is horrifying to realize how much time I’d wasted on the website. Normally I prefer reading classic works of literature. I don’t know what kept me looking at the stories and articles for so long. I guess it was kind of like that time my cousin and I looked at gossip magazines for an afternoon. It was more like a guilty fixation with something so otherworldly and unachievable.
    Sunday, December 11
    I wear makeup to church today. Every time I see Ethan, it hurts. As he passes, Dad grabs my wrist.
    “What are you doing?” I ask, angry.
    “Your pulse sped up when he walked by. You still like him.” He smiles, obviously thinking that he’s being clever. He’s not.
    “It sped up because I was nervous because you grabbed me,” I babble. I lower my voice. “I don’t like him anymore, so leave me alone.”
    “So who do you like? Dante?”
    “No one, okay?”
    He raises his eyebrows. “You can’t just not like anyone. When I was your age I had crushes on at least five girls at a time. And not one of them liked me back.”
    He doesn’t understand what I feel. Whenever I have a crush on someone, it can last years, and it’s always just for one person.
    The day I realized I had a crush on Ethan was when some of the girls at church locked me in a closet for the first time. They were mean. They tried to turn others against me, painted all over me at slumber parties, and lied about me to adults.
    As I sat huddled in the corner of the dark closet, I heard Ethan telling off the girls for being awful to me. He shouted, “Go away. Leave her alone!” and he unlocked the door.
    Then he smiled at me. My heart melted and my head turned to jelly, petroleum jelly. I knew that I liked him. A lot. Ever since that day he stood up for me, I’ve liked him. A lot. And as much as I try to convince Dad, Mom, and myself of the opposite, I still like him.
    A lot.
    Monday, December 12
    “Come on, Brodie, I need you!” I shout down the stairs to my little brother.
    “What do you want?!” he screams back.
    “Come here and I’ll tell you!”
    “FINE!”
    He makes his way upstairs stomping his feet on every step.
    “Can you help me do my fingernails?” I ask in my sweetest voice.
    “No way!” He pretends to gag himself and heads back toward the stairs.
    “If you do, you get to watch TV. I won’t tell Mom.”
    He freezes. Then he turns and comes back to help me.
    When your nails are filed and the cuticles softened, you are ready to put on the nail base . . . Cover the whole nail with the base and let it dry thoroughly before you start the polish. After the base has dried, the next step is to apply the first coat of polish. Cover the whole nail; it is easier than trying to describe an accurate curve around the moon.
    Ten seconds later I’m explaining Betty Cornell’s nail regime,