Free Dying Wishes by Judith K Ivie

broker
who specializes in problem refi’s , God help me. I’m
drowning in packets. We’re doing two to four closings a day. It’s nuts.” She closed her eyes and sipped a little coffee. I took advantage of her
momentary inattention to survey the area for books and spotted the tote bag in
a corner with Emma’s purse. I wondered why she didn’t just leave the books in
her apartment, since she couldn’t possibly have time to read at work.
    “How
are you adjusting to the idea of being Auntie Emma by springtime?” I carefully
avoided looking at the corner.
    “Better
than you’re adjusting to becoming Granny Kate, is my bet,” she retorted. I
winced.
    “Sounds
like an apple you’d use for baking pies. Can’t I just be Kate?” I pleaded.
    “Nope. You have to be Gramma or Nana or something. It’s in the rulebook.”
    I
lunged at the opening, however miniscule. “Been reading up?” I allowed my gaze
to stray to the bag spilling over with books.
    She
smiled knowingly. “Aha, now we get to the real reason behind the apparently
casual visit from Mom. I was wondering when you’d get around to it.”
    “Once
a mother, always a mother,” I confirmed, hoping she wouldn’t miss my double
meaning. “The worst part is , it was Armando who picked
up on it first.”
    “He
is a perceptive little devil,” she sighed. “Remind me never to play poker with
him. I was going to talk to you about it, but I wanted to do some research on single
parenting first, get my ducks lined up. I’ve done a lot on line, of course.
These,” she waved at the books, “are just to give my eyes a break. I stare at a
lighted screen all day as it is.”
    “I
hear you. So what have you learned so far?” I chose my words and my tone
carefully, something I seem to need to do more often now that my children
aren’t children any more. I no longer have the authority to lay down the law.
Opinions and suggestions are my stock in trade at this stage. I know those
should be put forth only when requested, but sometimes I can’t seem to help
myself.
    Emma
shoved back her chair and propped her feet on the desk, holding her coffee mug
on her chest. “Not a great deal that I didn’t already know. I’m sure you think
this is all very sudden and was prompted by Joey’s and Justine’s news last
week, but the truth is, I’ve been thinking about it for a long time.”
    “Huh.
You never mentioned motherhood to me outside of an occasional
someday-when-I-get-married conversation when you were heavily involved with one
fellow or another.”
    She
smiled wryly. “Yeah, or another or another or another. There have been so many, and none of them ever works out in the end. Sooner or
later I realize I’d be much happier on my own and cut them loose. You know
that.”
    I
did know that. Emma’s good looks, loving nature and natural exuberance had
attracted a steady stream of boyfriends since she had turned fifteen. A few of
those relationships had been serious and endured for a year or two. Most,
though, had been brief romances that evolved into lasting friendships. Emma had
a talent for keeping the people she loved, or had once loved, close to her, and
the endings to her involvements were rarely acrimonious.
    “You
do seem more content on your own, but that makes it all the more curious that
you’re considering shattering your precious solitude by taking on a child. If
you think a man can be demanding, wait until you see what a baby does do your
life. You’ve worked in daycare, Emma. You know what infants are. What’s this
really all about?”
    She
shrugged. “Hormones partially, I’m sure. I’m a female in my prime reproductive
years, and the nesting urges are all there. I’ve always wanted kids. It’s
finding a man I can tolerate for the long haul that’s the hard part. One day it
hit me that I didn’t have to have a long-term relationship with a man in order
to have a child. Frankly, it was a huge relief.”
    “Okay,”
I said a little