Free Harris Channing by In Sarah's Shadow Page A

not! You don’t want me
here!" She again tried to move past him but this time he stilled her, her
hands tight on both her shoulders.
    "I will not bury you beside
Sarah, do you understand me?" He pulled her hard into him and all the
resistance slid from her body.
    "David, this is all so
unfair." Sobs popped from her lips and she rested her forehead against his
chest. He eased his grip, stroking her hair.
    "I know."
    "What exactly am I s-supposed
to do?"
    She heard him sniffle. "I'm
hoping you can tell me, that way we can both move forward."
    Pulling away the smallest bit, she
looked up into his face, tears clung to his eyelashes. "Oh, David, I feel
sick, and shocky. The whole world has become surreal." She dragged her
lower lip between her teeth and bit it. "I don't know what I'm supposed to
do with myself."
    "I'm so sorry this is
happening to you." Easing his grip, he slid his hand down her arm,
encasing her fingers in his hand. "I would do anything to have found them
alive." And in his answer, she saw a side of him she'd not seen before, a
less morose man, a compassionate man with a loving heart. Sarah had been a very
lucky woman, indeed.
    "I so need to see them. Why
won't you take me now?"
    He momentarily closed his eyes and
dragged a deep breath into his lung. "Reg needs time to get them ready for
you. As I said, you have got to believe that it's for your own
protection."
    She raised a dubious brow.
    "Please, rest now," he
continued. "Tomorrow will not be an easy day for you."
    As much as she wanted to question
him further, she recognized the stubborn expression in his narrowed eyes, not
to mention how his jaw twitched.
    "Rest? Perhaps I can lie down
and cry rather than sitting up to cry."
    "Or perhaps you'll
sleep."
    Maniacal laughter clogged her
throat. "Sleep. Perhaps if I had a bottle of your whiskey."
    Despite her better judgment, she
removed her coat and boots and unmaking the bed, she lay down staring through
her tears at the cobwebbed laden ceiling. This place most certainly was a far
cry from her home in Illinois.
    Illinois…why did her father have to
take them away? Why? They would be going to church in the morning. They would
be preparing to celebrate her birthday or Ma would be humming in her rocking
chair before the fire with Pa reading the Bible in the corner and Robert
studying his lessons. The memory unfolded in her mind, the sweet simplicity of
her life something she ached to have again.
    Huge teardrops slid down from her
eyes and she didn't think she'd ever be able to stop them.
    ***
    He towered over her, not knowing
what to do. Damnation, he'd been through this when Sarah died, how was it he
didn't know what to do to help. His heart ached for her.
    "Tell me what I can do,"
he said, knowing he sounded completely weak and ineffectual. All he wanted to
do was grab the last bit of whiskey and drink it down and yet he stayed, too
worried to leave her side.
    "You can't do anything.
There's n-nothing to be done except for me to accept things as they are."
An agonized moan sped from the depths of her soul. "I don't think I can do
that."
    "Unfortunately, you don't
truly have a choice." He sat on the edge of the bed and pulling a
handkerchief from the pocket of his coat, he wiped away her tears. "I know
you can't believe it now, but it will get easier."
    She gazed up at him, her eyes
searching is face. "It hasn't gotten easier for you."
    He offered her a small smile.
"It would have, had I not had the guilt of letting her down." He
leaned in closer and kissed her forehead. "You sweet Bobbie, have done
nothing to feel guilty about."
    She audibly swallowed. "Oh,
but I have. I survive while they are gone."
    He understood that sentiment only
too well. Still hovering above her, he kissed her cheek. "I am so very
glad you did."
    "Really?" Her voice
sounded weak, wispy. Damnation, did she really believe he wanted her dead and
gone?
    Pulling back he stared down at her,
so beautiful, fresh, and young. Her countenance