Free She's No Angel by Janine A. Morris Page B

She was constantly trying to mentally block out those days of her life when she had no control and very little class. So she sat there listening to Rich, and saying very little in return, waiting for the car to stop in front of her office building. Although Charlene knew that her life was better now than it had been in quite some time, she also knew that there were pros and cons to both lifestyles. She definitely knew that a life with no expectations and no secrets to bury was a lot easier than the life she was leading now. She couldn’t deny that her old ways tempted her from time to time to live in the moment, and Rich with his fine self wasn’t helping right now. Luckily, before she could act or think about any of the temptations, she was getting out of his car heading back to work.
    The good-bye was simple and quick. His smile and wink were torturous.

Chapter 10
    T hey had only been engaged a few weeks, and already there seemed to be this unspoken tension. Charlene had been distancing herself, fearing her guilt was written all over her face. She wasn’t sure what his issue was exactly, but he seemed to have a chip on his shoulder since the answering machine message situation, and she thought it was going on too long. They were back in their usual routine, but he seemed to be a little less talkative, and less enthused about their new engagement.
    After seeing Rich yesterday, and remembering what her life used to be, she knew that she should probably ensure that her present life was moving as smoothly as possible. Deep down she almost felt like that didn’t matter until they were actually married—because deep down she wasn’t truly convinced that she would make it down the aisle. She felt like even if they miraculously made it to that point, hers would be that one-in-a-million wedding where someone stood up and objected when the reverend asked the guests if they wanted to speak or forever hold their peace. Besides, she knew that nothing in life was guaranteed and it was still hard for her to believe she could actually have a perfectly happy life, so she expected the drama to always be right around the corner.
    She was feeling a little concerned about her relationship with Isaac. Despite her fear of losing him, she damn sure wasn’t ready to. Also, she knew if and when that day came she would go out fighting for him. The more she thought about it, the more she was convinced that she should make all the effort she could to make Isaac see that he was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. He had proposed to her, so he had to know she loved him. Still, she was nervous that he didn’t trust her 100 percent, although she knew deep in her heart that she hadn’t earned all of his trust or love. More than anything she wanted somehow to get him to trust her and to know that she would never hurt him. Yet, on the other hand, she had this secret that would hurt him if he found out. How was she to convince him of her love when she was afraid he would find out the secret stuff about her one day and then wouldn’t trust her again? She decided that she should go ahead and tell him before he found out, but that she should present it as something she was completely regretful of and apologetic about and not throw it in with a discussion about their other issues.
    Isaac was supposed to come over to her place, just for a visit. They had both finally made copies of their apartment keys to exchange, and he was going to help lift and stack her bins of summer clothes in the back of her closet. He said he would be by around 7:30 PM , so she left work exactly on time and headed straight home.
    Once she arrived at her place, she got comfortable and began preparing dinner for herself and Isaac. The last time he was over things didn’t go so well, so she wanted this time to be better. She was safe and cleared her answering machine, and straightened up the living room area and the bedroom. She