against his skin, and I look at him, wanting to see him. His eyes are tightly closed as if he’s trying to stay in control.
Who cares about control? I lost mine the minute Adam’s lips touched mine the first time months ago.
“I need you to be sure, Amy.” His forehead rubs against mine. I’m thrown between the forcefulness of his grip on my hands and the softness in his voice and his words.
I close my eyes and do what Adam tells me to always do when I start getting stressed about the future. Just feel it. Feel us.
And it works just like always. We may not make any sort of sense on paper, but when I let the bullshit and the worries go, we always feel right. Like now.
I nod my head against his and smile. “I’m sure.”
“Thank fuck,” he growls with a hoarse voice, and then his lips are back on mine. His hand is on my waist, moving lower and then lifting my thigh so it’s raised and wrapped around his hip. “Legs around me, now.”
I listen to him, moving before he’s even finished speaking. I almost feel like an animal rutting in the wild, but I can’t help it. And I wouldn’t stop it even if I could.
The tip of his erection presses against me and his hand on my hip lowers me onto him. And then he pulls me closer, filling me more completely and powerfully than I would have thought possible.
“I love you,” I moan as soon as he begins to rock against me. He presses me into the wall and down onto him at the same time. I repeat the words, kissing him all over, groaning the words into his neck and against any part of his skin that I can reach with my lips and my tongue. I relish the feel of his hands gripping my waist and my hands as his lips press against my neck, returning the three words with the same equal amount of passion and pressure that I give to him.
“Amy …”
“Oh my …” I feel myself hit the top of the rollercoaster. My insides squeeze him further into me, and I know that any second the rollercoaster is going to drop and it’s going to be the most exquisite and powerful moment of my life.
“Amy …”
He rocks me into the wall harder, and then opens his eyes as I shatter into a thousand pieces as he calls my name again.
“Amy.”
I can’t stop from trembling at the sound of my name, the way he feels inside me and pressing against me. His hands feel like molten lava all over my skin, melting me and taking away every worry I’ve ever had. Every thought.
“Amy.” The word and the name is the same, but the tone is different than it was a second ago. It’s clearer, but softer, and … oh, no …
“Amy.”
Oh, my God.
“Wake up, Amy. Tell me you’re okay.”
My eyes snap open and I’m looking directly into Adam’s eyes. His hand is on my shoulder, warming my already sweating skin, and there’s a frown line deeply ingrained in between his eyes.
In a split second, I’m curled into the far corner of my bed. Skittering away from him with my knees tucked up to my chest and my arms wrapped around my knees. I don’t take my eyes off Adam as he stands up, frowning at me, and my completely insane reaction to him.
“Another dream?” he asks drily, and then he turns to leave with his shoulders slightly hunched forward.
I open and close my mouth half a dozen times before he reaches my door to say something – anything - that will end his pain but nothing comes. All I can think about is the way he felt when he screwed me against the wall at The Lux Hotel just like he told me about yesterday.
And now, all I’m looking at are the muscles on his back, the back of his arms, and his legs that are so perfectly defined, that for a split second I think I might still be dreaming.
“Wait!” I think I sound panicky, as if the thought of him walking out the door could be the worst thing in the world. Awake, it doesn’t make any sense, but as I recall the now blurring images of my dream, this is how I would feel. I know it. The thought of Adam walking out the door and