Free Stranger in the Mirror [Shades of Heaven] (Soul Change Novel) by Tina Wainscott Page B

of gas. I’ll look at it this weekend.”
    She knew he was lying. He didn’t want her to drive, maybe because he was afraid she’d take off. Well, she wasn’t an accountant, but she wasn’t going to get far on fifty bucks. Her goal was to save enough to get out to California and have a little to get started until she found a job. She didn’t want to think about her chances of getting a job with a protruding belly. In California, anything was possible.
    “I’ll be here for a few months.”
    “Why can’t you wait a few more months?”
    “Because I don’t want to stay here any longer than I have to.”
    Jesse picked up another stone and made it skip across the water to the other side. “What’s so bad about this place, anyway? Or is it me?”
    She raised a hand to his cheek, then pulled it away when she caught herself. “It’s not you, and it’s not the town really. It’s me. I’m out of my element.”
    He smirked. “Sounds like that’s a good thing, from what you’ve said.”
    “I wasn’t that bad. And I’m not going back to that kind of life. I desperately need something familiar.” She heard her emotion leaking into her voice. Even imagining being at one of her favorite beaches filled her with longing.
    Jesse reclined on the grass, his arms behind his head. Contemplating his next strategy, no doubt. Or maybe considering his threat of tying her up. She had to think he wouldn’t do such a thing. If she stayed until the baby was born, she might lose the courage to leave. She’d be stuck in Chattaloo forever. Stuck. It gave her the shivers.
    While Marti was deep in her thoughts, Jesse reached out and pulled her down beside him. She allowed him to draw her closer, wondering if he would try to kiss her again, like that test of his. Wondering if she would let him.
    He lay on his side facing her. “We made a baby together. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”
    She fiddled with a piece of grass. “ We didn’t make a baby; you and Marti had all the fun.”
    He smiled, a devilish light in his eyes. “Fun, huh?”
    She blushed. “Well, I’m only guessing it was fun.” She looked away before returning her gaze to him. “Was it?”
    “I guess. To be honest, we were both sloshed and didn’t remember too much of it.”
    Marti steeled her courage, unable to keep from asking the questions that bugged her. “Was it… fun later?”
    He looked at a cardinal fluttering from one branch to another, chirping intermittently. “We never slept together after the first time. She told me it would hurt the baby, something about my”—he glanced downward—“hitting the baby’s head. Dr. Toby said that was impossible, but I wasn’t going to force her, wife or no. I didn’t even want to.”
    Warmth crept up to her cheeks. Still, she had to know one more thing. “Did you love her, Jesse?”
    He moved closer, dropping his head just over her upturned face. “My Pa always told me I’d know it when I loved a woman. He said, ‘It’s a clenched gut, drop-down-to-your-knees-and-die-for-her feeling, and you ain’t in love till you feel it.’ Racing’s the only thing that makes me feel that way, and I didn’t want anything to get in the way of that. No, I didn’t love her, and I didn’t want to.” Anger sparked in his eyes, but he banked it and sighed. “But I didn’t want her to die, that’s for sure.”
    “Me either. Nor did I want to die, but sometimes we don’t have a choice.” She reclined on her side. “So, were you never going to get married, content to be a lone racecar driver?”
    Jesse smiled faintly, looking at the blade of grass he was twisting between his fingers. “My first ambition was, and is, getting to NASCAR. That kind of life doesn’t lend itself to the quaint family picture most women have. Marti figured she’d have me settled down once the baby came, but it wasn’t going to be that way. Nothing is going to get in the way of making it.” He glanced at her. “And no