Free Girl In Pieces by Jordan Bell Page A

they’ve been calling. You’re pretty behind.” His usual vitriol seemed shockingly absent all the sudden. I had no idea where this clean shaven, gentler Brian had come from and it unnerved me. We hadn’t had a normal conversation, especially one about money, since before dad died.
    “I’m working to catch up. Literally. I punch a clock and everything. Very retro.” I watched him mess with the fraying fabric at the end of the arm of the chair. It seemed shabby and tiny with him slumped into it. “I think after my next paycheck I should be just about caught up. Hopefully Sherman hasn’t tossed my ass out by then.”
    “Well, maybe this will help.” He hitched his hip up and dug an envelope from his back pocket. When he reached out to give it to me, I almost didn’t take it. It seemed like if I took the envelope, he’d have to do something equally mean to even out whatever kindness he was doing.
    We weren’t always like this. I didn’t used to fear his cruelty or his unkind words about my money situation, my hair, my weight. Once upon a time we used to be friends, though it seemed unbelievable anymore. After a year of silence and mistrust, we barely knew each other.
    Without comment, I took the envelope and peeled back the top flap. Inside there was cash. Oodles of it. I had to count it twice to be sure there was actually $2,000 in crisp, straight from the bank bills. It took a moment of staring, of trying not to shake or cry or scream before I could look up. It seemed like if I accepted this token, if I got excited in any way, he’d snatch it from me and set it on fire just to spite me. Shit, I needed this. I needed this gift so badly.
    “What--” I swallowed. I shook my head. “What is this, Brian?”
    He shrugged. “It’s from Josh. For the page and the ad work. I thought you’d appreciate cash over a check you’d have to wait through the weekend to get into your account.”
    I stared at the cash, then at him, then back at the cash wondering. Wondering if maybe his dark spell had finally lifted. Wondering if he’d given up hating me for whatever wrong he thought I’d done to him when dad died. Wondering if he’d been replaced with a pod person or an android. Not really minding if he had.
    “Brian…I don’t know what to say. I don’t…you have no idea how badly I needed this. This will get me caught up on rent. It’ll get me some groceries. Shit. Shit . I don’t know what to say. Thank you   doesn’t seem to cut it this time.”
    He coughed and shifted uncomfortably in the chair. “It’s not a big deal. Technically you did earn it. And it’s not like I did anything but deliver it for Josh.”
    “Thank you. I’m serious, thank you. And tell Josh…” His name slipped out before I could stop it, a little heart throbbing puff of air I hadn’t spoken out loud in weeks. I had to swallow his name again like a hard lump caught in my throat. “Tell him thank you. A lot. Smother him with appreciation.”
    Brian grunted, a familiar wrinkle forming across his forehead. He was far too big for my puny little apartment and he seemed to feel it crushing him. He eyed the door each time he shifted positions, too obviously eager to leave as soon as absolutely possible.
      “Tell him yourself. Aren’t you attached to his hip anyway?”
    “Like I said, I’ve been busy.” I folded the envelope without looking at my brother and climbed to my feet. I couldn’t go see Sherman today and I couldn’t get to the bank until Monday, but I needed to be careful with this much cash. I needed to hide it.
    My apartment came outfitted with a sealed fireplace. When I’d rented it, I thought it was cool and hip. Despite being sealed, it still let in drafts in the winter and mostly just ate up a huge chunk of wall space I could have otherwise fit bookshelves on. It did come in handy for having all these little nooks and crannies where bricks had either been pried loose or fallen out over the years. Inside one of