Free A Blackbird In Darkness (Book 2) by Freda Warrington Page A

place, but the people and the feeling. I wonder why it waited so long? She shivered. She could make no sense of the turmoil within herself. Free of the Serpent, the ice she had held against it in her mind had melted. The comparative warmth made her feel she was burning inside, each flame a different emotion. Most consisted of a mixture of grief and anger – grief for Alaak’s fate, her family, for Forluin and Estarinel; anger at M’gulfn, Arlenmia, Gastada – the causes seemed endless. There was fear, too, dread so chronic that it paralysed her if she let her mind dwell on it. And somewhere there was love and concern for another human being. That feeling was so alien to her that she hardly realised what it was. The gentle strength of it hurt her more than the other emotions together
    Medrian had never been foolish enough to imagine that in suppressing her feelings for many years, she had destroyed them – but neither had she expected them to return with such force. Since her outburst near the farm, after Estarinel had run from her, she had been stunned by that internal violence. Now she stood motionless by the well, thankful to have at least a few minutes to order her thoughts and re-establish her self-control.
    How strong am I? she asked herself. It would seem not at all, without the Serpent to make my strength essential. Freedom! What made me think I was free for these few hours? I must steel myself against my own feelings, just as I have to against M’gulfn, before I betray myself.
    Estarinel must not suspect I am any different. That would only make the rest of the Quest impossible. I have to be cold, as always.
    She knew it would be difficult to show no sympathy and concern over the fate of Estarinel’s family. Her indifference, though, would only make it even harder for him to bear. He had never believed that she was truly as icily callous inside as she appeared externally, but perhaps he would believe it now. Perhaps he would begin to hate her. She swallowed against the knives in her throat. It would be better so. Then the Quest could be completed.
    #
    Falin, for no particular reason, got up and looked out of the window of his cottage. In the middle of the green, by the well, he saw what he took for a moment to be, not a human, but a statue. Surprised and puzzled, he stared at the figure in the twilight until he realised it was in fact a small and slender woman, standing very still and with an air of total self-containment. That alone told him she was not Forluinish, even before he noted her face and colouring.
    He opened the door and went out to her. She looked up as he approached, but otherwise did not move. Her delicate-featured face was white, contrasting sharply with her large dark eyes and black hair. She looked familiar but he could not think how he knew her.
    ‘My name’s Falin,’ he began hesitantly. ‘Do you need any help at all?’
    ‘I’m looking for Estarinel,’ she said simply.
    Falin felt as though the earth had tipped under his feet. His head swam with shock and confusion. What did she mean? Who was she?
    ‘Estarinel–’ he said, his mouth dry. ‘He’s not here. He went away months ago.’
    ‘You don’t recognise me, do you?’ the woman said.
    ‘I’m not sure...’ He was beginning to remember her, but that brought more incomprehension and growing fear.
    ‘We met at the House of Rede,’ she said. ‘You were one of his four companions.’
    ‘Then you must be Medrian. I’m sorry – you look different. But what are you doing here? I thought…’
    ‘It took us longer than we expected to reach the Blue Plane. When we got there, Estarinel wanted to come back to Forluin for a brief visit, before continuing the Quest. The Lady gave permission, and for me to come too.’
    ‘Oh, ye gods,’ said Falin, pulling his fingers through his long brown hair. He was very pale, Medrian noticed, with the tense, strained look of someone who could not sleep. ‘And did he take you straight to