Free The Nameless Hero by Lee Bacon Page B

tuned.…”

11
    Milton, Sophie, and I edged closer to the TV. The anchorman was replaced by a shot of the Grand Canyon. For a split second, I thought the window had switched to another of its scenic views. I was about to ask Milton whether he’d accidentally sat on the remote, when I realized there was something different about the Grand Canyon.
    Something
very
different.
    “We’re taking you live to the Grand Canyon, where unidentified culprits filled the entire canyon with purple Jell-O,” the anchorman said. “Reports that the Jell-O was grape-flavored have not yet been confirmed.”
    My jaw dropped at the sight of the Grand Canyon filled to the brim with purple Jell-O. It looked like the world’s biggest dessert bowl.
    All of a sudden, the scene switched to another famoussight: Mount Rushmore. But just like the last landmark, this one had also been vandalized in a very strange way.
    “Security personnel at Mount Rushmore were shocked to find that enormous purple mustaches and silly glasses had been painted onto the sculpted faces of the four former presidents,” said the anchorman. “And as if that weren’t bad enough already, a third incident took place at the famed Hollywood sign.”
    The view changed again. The four presidents and their cartoonish purple mustaches and glasses were replaced by a shot of the Hollywood sign that loomed in the hills over Los Angeles. Except that most of the letters had been removed, and what was left had been rearranged. Now there were only three letters remaining—
LOL
    “It’s as if whoever did this is laughing at us,” said the anchorman. “Out loud.”
    “Who do you think’s responsible?” Milton asked. “Could it be …”
    There was no need to finish the question. I already knew what Milton was trying to ask.
    “I don’t think it was my parents,” I said. “They’ve been taking a break from the whole supervillain thing lately.”
    The anchorman’s voice drowned out our conversation. “Reporter Cynthia Gomez had a chance to interview someone who knows more about confronting evil plots than anyone else.”
    The scene switched to a reporter standing in front of the Jell-O–filled Grand Canyon. Next to her was a man all three of us instantly recognized. His muscles were bulging beneath a tight silver jumpsuit and glittering blue cape. His hair was perfectly styled for the camera.
    “Captain Justice!” Milton said, exploding with excitement.
    “Dad,”
Sophie said, sounding far less excited.
    “That’s right!” Captain Justice boomed, as if he’d heard both of them through the window TV. Gesturing to the purple Jell-O behind him, he said, “I’m here at the scene of a despicable act of criminal vandalism against one of our great nation’s greatest landmarks.”
    “Any idea who might be behind these acts?” asked the reporter.
    “That’s an excellent question, Cynthia!” When Captain Justice smiled down at her, Cynthia Gomez nearly lost grip of her microphone. “Based on the evidence that’s been gathered so far on this case, I can tell you two things with absolute certainty: Whoever did this has a butt. And I plan on kicking it.”
    The reporter blinked twice. “So … um—you don’t know the identity of the villain?”
    “No,” Captain Justice admitted. “Not a clue.”
    Sophie sank lower in her chair, covering half her face like she could barely watch.
    “Maybe we should see what else is on,” she said.
    “No way!” Milton clutched the remote more tightly.
    “So far, nobody’s been hurt by these crimes,” the reporter said. “What do you think is the motive?”
    “To tell you the truth, Cynthia, I don’t spend a lot of time contemplating the motives of my enemies.” Captain Justice paused for half a second, staring deeply into the camera. “I just focus on stopping them.”
    “I’m sure that’s something all viewers at home can look forward to,” said the reporter.
    “And another thing viewers can look forward to is