Free After All by Jolene Betty Perry Page B

eyes finally did catch, there was nothing but friendship in his easy smile and my heart sank. I shouldn't have been looking for more than friendship around his kids I guessed, but I wanted something . At least nothing felt awkward. I had the same peaceful feeling I always got in his house, and I slid deeper into the warm, leather couch as Brandt’s fingering ended up in his version of There Are Places I Remember. I closed my eyes and pulled my green hoodie more tightly around me. This song was one of Josh’s favorites.
    “This makes me miss Josh,” I mused out loud half forgetting I was in the company of people who never knew him. Music was the best memories I had of him. All my rock n’roll t-shirts were because of him in some way or another.
    “A friend of yours?” Brandt asked as he started his next tune.
    My chest weighted down because I knew there would be no explaining what Josh was to me.
    “Something like that.”
    I suddenly wished I hadn’t said anything. I tried to make a half smile but instead let myself relax. The house smelled like earthy spices as always and also a little like the dinner we’d just finished. I began to imagine this night as my normal, and not just theirs. It was a stupid thing to want, but I still did. The problem was that the reality was always so much less than the dream… Though, I was there, in their reality, and I felt more at home than I remembered feeling. At least not for a very long time.
    It had been a hard week, and I let my eyes close as Brandt’s fingers continued smoothly across the strings of the guitar.

    Eight
    Brandt
     
     
    Saturday morning, and Ashley was still asleep on my couch. I’d agonized last night whether or not to wake her up, but this morning, I was glad she was here. It felt like a big step of trust for her to fall asleep at my house, and the fact that she was still here was just a reminder of close we were all becoming. Though, the barely-kiss was a... Wow. It was a blatant reminder of what I'd been missing out on. And the idea that I could maybe have some of that with her ...
    And then, what did I do last night? Tried to play it off like nothing happened, and then she fell asleep before we got a chance to talk.
    Her breathing was deep and even, and she’d curled up on her side, pulling the small down comforter around her like a cocoon, letting her dark hair spread out behind her. Her short bangs touched her perfect eyebrows, and I just kept staring in a way I wasn’t able to do when she was awake. She was beautiful. And I was officially creepy.
    The desire to scoot in behind her on the couch and have my arms wrapped around her as she woke was almost overpowering. I imagined her taking my hands, and pulling my arms around her, bringing us together. Smiling as she laughed and asking me to put on some Lennon. Her smooth lips sliding over mine…
    I felt fingertips on my shoulder, and jumped, my heart nearly leaping from my chest. I spun just in time to see Ree clasping her mouth to hold in her laugh.
    “Dangit, Ree,” I whispered. “You have to stop sneaking up on me like that.”
    “Sorry,” she whispered back.
    Marie headed toward the dining room, and I followed, knowing she’d want to talk and trying to figure out how I was going to explain the fact that I’d been staring at Ashley.
    “Hmm.” I sighed as I sat down, rubbing my forehead with my fingers until finally running a hand over my hair. I leaned back and slouched in the chair, waiting for Marie to jump in.
    When our eyes met Ree’s smile filled her face.
    “What?” I whispered, even though I knew she was on the same track as Trevor.
    She opened her eyes wide and looked toward Ash asleep on our sofa.
    I shook my head. “Don’t think it, Marie. Don’t think it. I know how you are when you get something into your head.”
    “But—”
    “No buts. She’s ten years younger than I am. She’s just starting a new career. No, she hasn’t finished school to start a career. The