Free In Search of Satisfaction by J. California Cooper Page B

raising his own family. He had money hidden away, but he would not bring it out and give it away. He kept in his mind the thought, “Thatmoney gonna send my son Lincoln to school, to college!” But he worked hard helping Joel at whatever he could.
    When Ruth became pregnant again, Joel was full of joy. He had a good crop planted, the animals were well, and nothing bothered him except Bessel. Bessel was always in bed now and Ruth had to wait on her. Bessel said she had no life and she just didn’t want to get up. She complained all day and called Ruth sometimes during the night for anything that would break her loneliness. She resented Ruth having a man, while she, the smartest one, the real woman, didn’t. Plus, Joel was a good man. Not like the ones who had left her. She loved Ruth, but she was just what some humans call human.
    Bessel was a country woman. At that time, what constituted a good life was having your man or your woman. Love. You had children and hardships, but you loved, fought and loved some more. Some cheated, but it was all still in the name of some love breaking the monotony of nothing else to do. Bessel knew she had had a chance at SOMETHING. But, what was it in the end? At least she was on her own land, in a way. Had done a bit of travelin. Had had a city man! Her own little apartment. Had paid for one of them cars for him. But here she was sittin, dryin up, dyin in her daughter’s house, pract’ly stolen from her, Bessel! What was it she had done? She had always been smart to look out for herself. What happened?
    She hadn’t made it. She had stolen the money. The days, the hours. They faded away like smoke. She hadn’t meant to cheat her daughter. She hadn’t meant to steal. Didn’t call it that. But if that’s not what it was, why did she hide what she had done? Satan liked her because she fooled herself so easily. But she wasn’t much use except for creating little problems for Ruth and Joel, so she could live or die, Satan didn’t care. The world was full of bigger fish to fry, so to speak. His agents had more than enough to do! He had to keep busy, busy. With the important things.
    Ruth was kind so she did all she could for her mother and, of course, for Joel. This pregnancy was a bit more difficult, for some reason, and Ruth had to go to the white doctor for care, there being no Negro ones almost anywhere. This took up a lot more of their money. Mrs. Befoe’s slightly retarded daughter, Richlene, was sick at that time and she was seeing the same doctor. On learning Ruth was seeing the doctor,Mrs. Befoe told him, “Those niggers have money. They have solid gold coins they steal from somewhere!” The doctor charged accordingly. Ruth even sold two of her coins to help pay him. That left three of all the gold coins.
    Now Joel and Ruth talked long into many nights about the money and the hard times. Joel said, “We shouldn’t not never had no mo hard times wit all that money we found! Now, don’t you go a’spendin no mo of yo money! You save it! Times is hard and don’t look like no let up! Everbody is doin poorly!”
    So even with the gold coins out in the chicken house, times got hard for the little family. Bessel was no help, she needed medicine for her imaginary ills. Now she said she couldn’t get around well when she did get up. Joel had to carry her from one chair to another or to her bed. She liked that. Her grandchildren didn’t always make her happy, they meant age. Ruth held the sides of her growing belly and made those deep, heavy, low-down tired sighs.
    The two small children had to help now in the fields, kitchen and Ruth’s small garden near the house. Ruth had to help in the fields, also, even as she grew larger. Then Mama, Bessel, just up and died. She had gotten up, quietly. Already had a paperbag ready full of her clothes and was going to walk back to Philadelphia and find “that man.” She had stolen coins from Ruth earlier and, now, put them in her mouth as