Free Gunship by J. J. Snow Page B

larger crates, he got up to come over and help push. When they got it into place, Reilly leaned against the cargo to rest for a moment, and Seth did the same on the opposite side. They both stared up at the ceiling, each lost in their own thoughts.
    His words caught her off guard. “So are you ever scared?”
    When she turned to look at him, he looked down and then continued. “I mean when you’re out there on a job or fighting?”
    She thought of all the times she had been scared, from basic training on through some of the bloodiest battlefields in the galaxy.
    “Yes. Everyone is. Doesn’t matter if they say they’re not, that just means that they’re lying about it. Every time we go out and it’s dangerous I’m scared…but that’s a good thing. If you aren’t scared, then you’re either stupid or dead. Fear is what keeps you sharp, helps you stay alive, helps you keep your men alive.”
    He looked back up at her, then walked over and opened his hand. In it was a silver chain with a star pendent on it made of glass shards bound together with silver. It was a beautiful necklace and probably cost a decent number of credits.
    “I got it for my mother. I saved up working at a local barn, training horses and helping out with odd jobs. One of the horses I helped train made the boss a lot of money, so he gave me a cut too. I bought some stuff for Duv and my older brother and got her this. She never took it off.”
    Reilly looked at it closely. “I’m sure she didn’t. Coming from you probably made it even more important to her. Stuff like that you cherish always. This was from my big brother before he left to go fight in the war.” She pulled out an old set of dog tags and showed him a silver-and-gold ring hanging behind them with a unique design of braided bands weaving it together. “I never take it off either.” She put it back under her t-shirt.
    Seth put the necklace back in his pocket and leaned against the crate again. “It was the trees that did it.”
    Reilly didn’t say anything.
    “I just remember that it was sunny and the trees were there by the house. Everything looked so blue and green and gold. It was a perfect day. And then it got ruined.”
    He went quiet again, thinking, reliving those moments. Reilly knew. She had been there where the scenes floated in front of her face so vivid that she could reach out and touch them, smell them, hear them. Sometimes they just showed up with no warning or came to her in her dreams. Then she would walk the decks or go talk to Ty or Chang or Duv, and the ghosts would go away for a while. Time helped them to pass. So did making new memories, good memories that she could work to fill her mind with. But it was a fight, and she knew that Seth had to battle his way back to the surface in his own time. All they could do was wait and be there.
    He was crying now. But she knew he didn’t want to be held, he wasn’t even really aware that she was there. He kept talking.
    “Jake just fell down. I thought he was playing, but then there was a lot of blood and I knew something was wrong but it didn’t make sense. And I saw them in the trees, watching. Then they came and got her. I couldn’t stop them, couldn’t do anything. I tried. But there was too much blood and they kept yelling at me to save her but I couldn’t, I didn’t know what to do. You can’t put the pieces back together real easy and they laughed at me and took me with them. I wanted to kill them. I wanted to die.”
    Reilly listened, her face an expressionless mask. Seth had never talked about what had happened before. It was terrible to hear words like this from her men, even more so when they came from a fourteen-year-old kid. But these words, she knew, had to be heard. They had to come out or the healing could never happen. The past that haunted his present could never be left behind without this.
    “But I knew she wouldn’t want me dead and I knew Duv would come back.” Seth wiped his eyes