Free Three Girls and a God by Clea Hantman Page B

screaming and yelling like a—”
    “She got herself into this mess and then she cried because she thinks she looks horrible, not because it was a complete and total disaster, not because we may fail—”
    “And then to blame me when she herself joined the class after I told her no—”
    “Did you know your sister is completely insane—”
    “I bet she had a mirror in her pack all along and was just keeping it from me to be spiteful—”
    “Quiet! Both of you, take off those dirty clothes, clean up, and get ready for dinner, without arguing! I made a very fancy dinner tonight, a beautiful mushroom tuna casserole surprise, and you two are going to sit at that table and at the very least pretend to get along, just tonight, and you’re going to eat my incredibly luxurious mushroom tuna casserole surprise, every last bit of it, and you’re going to make small talk and you’re going to appreciate my incredible selflessness and you’re going to thank me profusely and…and… now !”
    “What’s gotten into you, sis?” asked Era, totally calm now.
    “I slaved over the hot stove to make this fantastic dinner for you two, to surprise you with my generosity and to show you how I can think of others like Daddy wants me to, and gosh darn it, you’re going to enjoy it.”
    “Is there a freaky role-reversal thing going on here that nobody told me about?” Polly asked.
    “Very funny. I just got into it, that’s all, and wanted to surprise you. Now go clean up, c’mon.”
    “Fine,” swooshed Era.
    “Sure, Thalia, and this was very sweet of you, thank you.”
    “You’re welcome. Now go.”
    As they headed for the bathroom, I heard Era whisper to Polly, “You do realize how ridiculous that was coming from her, right?” But I let it go.
    They emerged from the bathroom fifteen minutes later. The mushroom tuna casserole surprise looked a little worse for wear, but I was nonetheless just as excited to serve them in a grand manner. We sat at our little yellow kitchen table. I lit the candles I had found in a drawer. I gave them each an embossed paper napkin (they had swans on them!) and dished them up a heaping portion each. Lastly, I served myself. Era almost dove right in, but I made her wait till we all had a helping.
    Then I said, “Okay, now you can eat, and make sure you tell me how wonderful I am.”
    They each took a bite, and I don’t think I have to tell you what came next. Rave reviews! Era told me it was delectable and said it was tantalizing. Polly gave me a triumphant thumbs-up.
    Only it didn’t look like they were swallowing.
    They were smiling, but I had to admit, their grins looked rather forced.
    I took a bite and understood everything before it had even hit my throat. My mushroom tuna casserole surprise was delectably…disgusting. It had the flavor of wet dirt and salty seaweed combined with a big ol’ bag of worms. It was horrible. Worse than horrible. It was alarmingly atrocious.
    We all sat there for a moment with a mouthful of wormy tuna casserole. And then, at once, all together, we burst into laughter, spraying slimy, gritty mushroom goo everywhere. Era’s mouthful, a particularly large mouthful, hit me squarely in the face, which only made her laugh harder. I picked up my spoon and scooped up a big old wad of the sandy gunk and whirled it her way, hitting her wet hair. Polly fell off her chair laughing.
    Era and I both looked at Polly and grabbed our spoons. Polly, panicking, began to scooch herself backward across the kitchen floor, shaking her head no at us but laughing all the same. Just before we launched our spoons of mushroom sludge her way, she grabbed a new box of Choco-Stars off the counter and blocked our attack. She then opened the box and in one fell swoop grabbed a handful of stars and chucked them our way. Dozens of little Choco-Stars hung from the slimy goop dripping from Era’s curls. We each raced to a different cabinet. I grabbeda can of whipped cream, popped the top,