Free Summer Moonshine by P. G. Wodehouse Page A

me?'
    'But I'm not near you. I'm stuck away in a beastly boat, and you're up at the house. I should have thought it would have been so simple to have got your father to invite me to the Hall.'
    'Not so simple as you think.'
    They had sat down in the warm quiet of the spinney Jane plucked a fern and twisted it round her finger.
    'Hold your nose still. I want to tickle it. How brown you are.'
    'When I was at Cannes last summer,' said Adrian proudly, 'I got brown all over.'
    'Were you at Cannes last summer?'
    'Oh, yes. All August and most of July.'
    'I'd love to have seen you paddling, with your little spade and bucket' Jane paused. 'But of course, I remember, you were on the yacht.'
    'Er – yes.'
    'You and your yachts! You and your Princess! I wish you wouldn't see so much of that woman, Adrian. It gives idiots like Tubby a chance to be idiotic.'
    Adrian sat up.
    'What was it Tubby said?'
    'Well, if you really want to know, he's got the impression that you're engaged to her.'
    'Engaged to her!'
    'I told you he was just drivelling.'
    'It's an absurd lie!'
    'Well, naturally. You don't think I imagined that you were training to become a bigamist. But it wasn't a pleasant thing to get shot at you all of a sudden.'
    'I should say not. It was abominable. I don't wonder you were upset. I'd like a word with Tubby.'
    'Oh, that's all right. I ticked young Tubby off like a sergeant-major, curse him. It must have taken him hours to pick up the pieces. But you do see how people talk, don't you?'
    'Of course, of course, of course. It just shows—But all that happened really was that I was sorry for her. She's a lonely old woman.'
    'You keep calling her old. She looks about thirty.'
    'And she seemed to like having me around.'
    'Well, tell her that in future she can't.'
    'She's quite nice, really.'
    'Oh, I've nothing against her, except that she's a hard, arrogant, vindictive, domineering harridan, if harridan's the word I want. And now I simply must rush.'
    'No, don't go.'
    'I must. I promised Buck I would be back early, to make a fuss of Mr Chinnery.'
    'Who's Mr Chinnery?'
    'One of the lodgers.'
    Adrian laughed. The word struck him as quaint and whimsical.
    'But I want to talk to you.'
    'What about? Mice?'
    'No. I'm serious. I'm worried, Jane.'
    'I can tell you what to do about that. I was reading an article in the paper this morning. You stand in front of the glass and smile and say fifty times, "I am bright and happy! I am bright and—"'
    'No, really, I mean it. I'm worried about all this hole and corner business.'
    'Are you referring to our romantic secret engagement?'
    'But why has it got to be secret? Why have I got to lurk on this infernal boat? I know you think it amusing and exciting, and all that—'
    'I don't, at all. You haven't grasped the idea.'
    'It's underhand, Jane; it really is. And I hate doing anything underhand. Why not tell your father we're engaged?'
    'And have him coming down to interview you with a horsewhip?'
    'What!'
    'Well, Barts do, you know, to the penniless suitor. I want you to get to know each other before we say anything. That's why you're on the Mignonette – not because I think it exciting and amusing. You must be patient, my wonder man. You must brave the mice and smells, and wait for the happy ending. And now I simply must rush. I ought to have been home ages ago.'
    Because she had lost her temper and said unpleasant things and was thoroughly penitent and ashamed of herself, Jane threw herself into their parting embrace with a warmth that she did not often show, and which she would not have shown now, had she been aware that it was being observed.
    Sauntering past the spinney and pausing, as he saw what was in progress, like some worthy citizen taking a front place at a dog-fight, there had come, silently and without any heralding of his approach, a small, round, rosy man in a loose sack suit and square-toed shoes of a vivid yellow. He was chewing gum. On his head was one of those hats designed