Free The New Hope Cafe by Dawn Atkins Page A

had made her feel awkward. He’d showed her
what he wanted and that had been fine with her. She satisfied her own needs in
private moments.
    When it got bad between them, Barrett’s touch reminded her how
dangerous he was, how ready he was to hurt her. She dreaded sex then, the way it
made her feel powerless and vulnerable. Sex was an assault, an invasion, an
unwelcome intimacy that sickened her. She made herself numb, hid away in her
mind until it was over, welcoming the brutal cramps of her period because
Barrett was so squeamish he would sleep in the spare room for those blessed few
days each month.
    She knew now that no matter how much she wanted sex, if a man
touched her, his hands would become Barrett’s, his body, too, and his voice. She
would feel Barrett’s grip, his threats, the way he made her feel like her body
belonged to him and he could do with it whatever he wanted.
    She couldn’t imagine trusting a man again.
    Forgetting all that, she’d kissed Jonah. Her lips still
tingled. The backs of her hands felt warm. She had the feeling they’d stay that
way all night.
    * * *
    CJ HUNG UP the phone, her face as
pale as the powdered sugar she’d spread like fairy dust all over his pantry two
days ago. “It’s the transmission,” she told him. “Two thousand dollars and
that’s with a break on labor because of the delay.”
    “I could loan you a grand if that gets you there.”
    CJ met Jonah’s gaze for the first time that day. He’d scared
her last night, no matter what she’d said, and she hadn’t looked at him dead-on
since. Now her talkative eyebrows shot up in surprise, then twisted with doubt.
“That’s far too generous. I don’t know when I could pay you back.”
    “No rush. It’s sitting in the bank.”
    He could see she wanted to accept, but she shook her head.
“Thanks, but it wouldn’t be right. I have to pay my own way.”
    That stung, being brushed off so quick.
    “Rusty says the car can stay there until I decide what to do.
Sell it for parts? I don’t know. I just know we have to get going.”
    He had to admit it would be a relief to have her gone. She
mixed him up.
    Last night in Rosie’s kitchen, they’d connected. Saying next to nothing, they’d talked up a storm about
their bad marriages. Like when they’d talked about loved ones with demons that
afternoon, only worse. He’d recognized her pain, felt the same regret and guilt
she’d spoken of.
    When their hands met, the moment flipped over, went sexual.
He’d been so hungry for her, like he hadn’t felt in years, wide open and
raw.
    He’d kissed her. He couldn’t help it. What he wanted was to
slide her out of that slinky robe and get skin to skin, run his hands over every
inch of her tempting body.
    She’d been surprised, she’d said,
but she’d looked hunted. He was sick that he’d done
that to her. He’d been a total ass. It had taken him a bit to pull himself
together and get the hell out of there.
    They spoke little for the rest of the shift. CJ’s energy had
been dampened like a drizzled-on campfire. She smiled for the customers, but it
was the empty smile he’d seen the first day. He hated that.
    They were finishing cleanup when Rosie and Bunny came in.
    “Look what Rosie gave me.” Bunny waved a red pogo stick with
fringed handles, an aluminum hula hoop over her shoulder.
    “You shouldn’t have,” CJ said, uncomfortable.
    “I had to get rid of them anyway,” Rosie said with a shrug.
    “Yeah, I helped her clear out her inventory,” Bunny said.
“Watch me!” She managed a couple of bounces on the pogo stick before losing her
balance.
    “That’s very good,” her mother said, “but we can’t take them
with us.”
    “There’s room in the backseat.”
    CJ took a deep breath before she spoke. “We’re not taking the
car. It’s too expensive to fix, so we’re going by bus.”
    “By bus?” Bunny frowned. “But we can’t leave Grandma’s car
here.”
    “Bunny!” CJ said sharply, as if