Free Beautiful Dreamer by Lacey Thorn Page A

forbid—dead.”
    “That makes perfect sense,” Lauren agreed.
    “I was already living with that, though. I’m not sure why it suddenly became something I couldn’t deal with, especially with how much I love him.”
    Lauren shrugged. “I don’t know, and I’m guessing you don’t remember.”
    “No.”
    “Maybe, it had something to do with the two cops killed in the line of duty recently?” Lauren suggested. “Something like that would give anyone pause.”
    “Phillip said the same thing, but I don’t remember that,” Chase said. Had the officers been people she’d met? Surely, Phillip would have mentioned if the officers had been friends. She’d have to ask him later just to be sure.
    “More importantly, do you feel that way now? That you can’t handle the worry?” Lauren asked.
    “No,” Chase stated emphatically. “I don’t want to think of my life without him in it.”
    “Then don’t worry about it. Leave the past in the past, and focus on now.” Lauren pulled over and put the car in park. “We’re here,” she said.
    They both looked out the windshield at the rows of stones etched with the names and dates of those who were no longer with them. Somewhere out there was a grave for Jocelyn.
    “Ready?” Lauren asked, and Chase nodded.
    It was a lie, though. Despite how long it had taken her to get here, she still wasn’t ready.

 
    Chapter Six
     
     
     
    They stood side by side as they faced the cold slab of marble. A name, dates and scattered words would never be enough to sum up the life of a person. Daughter. Sister. Friend. Jocelyn was so much more than those things.
    “I’m going to walk over to the other family plot,” Lauren said. “Give you a few minutes alone. Just don’t tell your boyfriend.”
    “I won’t,” Chase said. “Thanks, Lauren.”
    “I understand needing a few minutes alone to say goodbye,” Lauren stated simply then turned to head a short distance away.
    Chase stood there for a long moment just staring down at the marble.
    “I remember the first day I met you,” she whispered, leaning down to touch the stone. “You told me we were going to be best friends, and we were. My life was so much more because you were in it.” Tears slipped from her eyes, but she didn’t bother wiping them. There’d just be more to take their place.
    “My whole life is filled with memories of you, of us. The laughter, so much laughter, and tears, too. I can’t remember a time when you weren’t with me.” She dropped to her knees, barely feeling the wet or cold as her jeans met the snowy ground and soaked it in. “I feel guilty, so guilty for being the one to survive. I’m selfish enough to be grateful to be here, to have Phillip and the chance for a life with him. That makes me feel even guiltier. The worst part is, I can’t even bring you justice. I remember so much, except the one thing I need to. What happened that night, Jocelyn? Why did we stop? Why did we split up? Who did this to us? Who killed you? God help me, I can’t remember, no matter how hard I try.”
    She leaned her head on the stone, sobbing her hurt and frustration, her grief and guilt. Jocelyn’s parents had gone with a black marble that she would have loved. In the bottom corner, under the three words used to sum up her life, was a sleeping angel that looked remarkably like Jocelyn. “Help me remember, Jocelyn. Please, help me make sure the person who did this pays. Help me,” she whispered.
    She sat there, waiting for something, anything, to come to her. A memory that would tell her something about that night.
    “Chase?” Lauren’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts and had her looking up. “Come on,” she said, holding out her hand to help Chase up. “Your jeans are soaked through.”
    “I’m okay,” Chase said automatically.
    “No, you’re not,” Lauren argued as she pulled Chase toward the car. “You’re shivering so hard your teeth are chattering. We’ll crank the heat and