Free V.J. Chambers - Jason&Azazel Apocalypse 01 by The Stillness in the Air Page A

fire lit up the angles of his face and the swell of the muscles on his arms. He was a big guy, but he held Guy so tenderly. I had to admit that I kind of liked the way it looked, Kieran holding the baby by the fire like that. It was comforting. I hugged my knees to my chest and took the sight in. Kieran would be a good dad. Definitely.
    “So,” said Kieran. “What else is there to babies?”
    “Come on,” I said, “are you serious?”
    “Totally. You have to feed them and change them, right? And once I get to be okay with washing dirty diapers, that’s not going to be much of a problem.”
    “Feeding them,” I reminded.
    “Well, not to be crass, but doesn’t nature sort of cover that part? I mean, you’re going to be equipped to feed the baby once it’s born with your—”
    “Stop,” I said. I was not entirely comfortable with Kieran discussing my breasts as a food source.
    Okay, sure, that’s what they were actually for and everything, but… “I guess you’re right, but that whole idea makes me feel sort of ooky.”
    “How come? It’s totally natural.”
    “Well, of course, you think it’s neat. You’re a guy.”
    He shrugged. “Okay, then, we’ll find formula. We work for the government. Shouldn’t be a problem. What else?”
    “That’s a problem,” I said. “The fact that we work for the government. How am I supposed to take care of a baby when I’m gallivanting all over the U.S. trying to gather up fuel?”
    “I guess you’d have to take maternity leave.”
    “Do you think they’d let the chick with the nifty magical powers take maternity leave? And besides, it’s not like the baby will be able to take care of itself right away. There aren’t schools anymore, exactly, or day care centers. This is a full time job for at least fifteen years.”
    He laughed. “It’s not ideal. But we could do it.”
    Another horrifying thought occurred to me. “There aren’t hospitals, anymore, Kieran. How would I have a baby without a hospital?”
    “It seems to me that babies predate hospitals.” Kieran shifted Guy in his arms.

    “Yeah, and there used to be a huge infant mortality rate,” I said.
    “Whatever,” said Kieran. “I think the delivering mother is doing most of the work there.
    Somebody just needs to be around to catch.”
    “And to make sure the baby’s not breach and that there’s no umbilical cord wrapped around its neck and to administer the epidural—oh, God. There are no more epidurals. Or heart rate monitors. Or—” I broke off. God. I couldn’t be pregnant. I just couldn’t be.
    Kieran was quiet for a few minutes, and then he said gently, “Azazel, if you’re pregnant, there’s nothing we can do about it.”
    Right, I thought bitterly. No more abortions either.
    “If we have to make it work, we will,” he said. “We can.”
    I shook my head.
    “I’m just saying, whatever you need from me, whatever I can do, I want to do.”
    “Look, let’s just wait, because maybe it’s all a false alarm. Maybe I’m not pregnant.” Please, don’t let me be pregnant. Please.
    Kieran looked into the fire. The dancing flames illuminated all the hollows in his face. He looked older and more serious than he usually did. “I lost my family right after the lights went out. After that happened, I was kind of destroyed, you know? I, um, I just didn’t want to ever care that much about other people again. It hurt too much.”
    Should I touch him? To comfort him? Or would he think that meant something else? I knew how he felt. I’d lost my family too.
    Kieran kept talking. “Back in Georgia, before we left, Thomas said something to me. He was teasing me because he said I was watching you a lot.”
    “Kieran, you don’t have to—”
    “No, I want to tell you this. If there’s a baby, that’s scary. It’s really scary. But, it might be nice to have someone to take care of. I kind of miss feeling that about another person.” He looked up at me. “I think I might feel