Free Back To You by Cindy Migeot Page B

and I were talking about what we were doing to end the year.  Of course Monopoly’s was having a big party, and of course we planned to be there.  She and I decided to make a plan to let the Ponchy guys know how we felt.  I was nervous.  After she and I got off the phone, my phone rang.  It was Carlos!  He said he was coming back to town and wanted to know if I was going to be at Monopoly’s for New Year’s Eve.  He really wanted to see me and promised to be there.  I thought his voice sounded a little funny, but I didn’t really care at the time.
    You could say I was surprised.   The down side was that it certainly could put a bit of a crimp in my plans to express my undying love to Pete.  But still, I felt the flutter in my stomach as I thought about Carlos’ smile and his kiss...
    I took extra care to get ready New Year’s Eve.  My mom was planning on being out late so I was staying at Reneigh’s that night.  I was feeling a little nervous.  I just couldn’t believe Carlos wanted to see me!  He was older, more mature, in college no less!  Granted I was almost sixteen and everyone said I looked like I was eighteen, but he knew the truth.  For the first time, I might be lucky enough to get a kiss at midnight!
    As it turned out, luck was NOT on my side that night.  I would venture to say that luck was across town and hiding from me.  I would definitely chalk that one up to one of the worst New Year’s in my life.  Hands down.
    When I got there, I looked around, hoping that Carlos was there.  Nope.  I wandered around looking for other friends to hang out with.  I had become friends with one of the owners, who was also the DJ.  The booth was up a flight of stairs and looked down on the entire place.  I always went up to say hi to Justin and he would always ask me what I wanted played next.  He was cool.  That fateful night I spent a lot of time hanging out with Justin.
    Carlos never showed up, but Joel did.  A couple of times J oel came up to me and smiled his cocky smile, usually saying something sarcastic or stupid.  I had no idea what Reneigh saw in him.  Yes, he was good looking.  But he wasn’t so good looking that it overcame his sarcastic attitude.  I thought he was just a jerk.  It seemed like he was laughing at me that night, bringing up that Carlos was supposed to come, but made other plans at the last minute.    And to make matters worse, Pete showed up for about thirty minutes and then disappeared with a girl the rest of the night.  It was New Year’s Eve and I was alone, again.  I felt so defeated.  And lonely.  And unlovable.  And angry and sad and a million other emotions that just weren’t very much fun on a party night like that.  They passed around those little popper things and some plastic cups of non-alcoholic sparkling grape juice.  Woo hoo.  I couldn’t wait to go home.  As for Reneigh, well, Joel wasn’t showing much interest in her that night.  It seemed he had more fun harassing me, so she found someone else to dance with.  Yep.  Life kinda sucked that night.
    After that major personal tragedy, I couldn’t wait to get back to school.  I was determined not to let that night ruin my year.  Supposedly whomever you kiss on New Year’s is who you will spend the year with.  I kissed no one, but I really, really hoped that didn’t mean that the next year would be spent longing after guys who didn’t like me back.  I was getting very tired of that.

 
     
     
    C hapter 5
     
    January went by with very little to get excited about.  But February began with an event that altered the course of many lives.  A boy I knew, but didn’t know well, decided to kill himself.  I will never forget that day.
    It was a typical nasty, rainy, dreary day.  The kind of day when I would loved to stay in bed with a good book.  I heard the news sometime after lunch.  Scott shot himself.  The whole school was in shock.  I felt all sorts of emotions.  I