Free Duty from Ashes by Sam Schal Page B

grown cold but she didn’t care. “Since you brought up the sim, have you had a chance to review my report and the other information I sent?”
    “I have and I’ve forwarded my recommendations to General Okafor. Until she decides whether or not Brodsky will remain in charge of the sims, I’ve issued orders that no FirstDiv sims are to be run through him. I have also asked Rico Santiago to look into what happened. The information Captain Ortega gathered raises the question of security breaches and, if they do exist, I want them plugged.
    “There is one other thing. I want you to quit worrying about Hines and what he’s said in his reports. He is wrong and you need to accept it. The rest of us have already.”
    Ash sighed and closed her eyes. Intellectually, she knew her mother was right. But knowing the doctor had voiced the same concerns she privately held didn’t help.
    “You’re right about one thing, Mom. What Hines said – and what he insinuated – has been eating at me.”
    “Now you’ve admitted it, it will get better.” Elizabeth smiled slightly in reassurance. “Ash, what he did was nothing more than an attempt to undermine your confidence. If he managed to do that and could point to sim or test results showing it before you ship out, he could claim that you aren’t ready to return to duty, much less to assume a command position. But you’ve realized what he was trying and you won’t let him win. Right?” She cocked her head to one side and waited.
    “Right.”
    I’ll be damned if I let him or anyone else pull that sort of crap on me again .
    “Good.” Elizabeth gave a decisive nod and dismissed the holo display.
    “I want you to consider this as well the next time you start doubting yourself. If I had any reason to worry about your fitness to return to duty and to command the Devil Dogs, I’d find a reason to keep you here in the capital. Remember, I’ve been there for your nightmares and for all those sleepless nights. I know the demons you are fighting. I also know that you have not given in to them and that you aren’t going to. You have beaten them just as you’ve beaten those who tried to take you down.
    “However, think about this. I have my own demons and know that they still come to haunt me even now, years after the fact. That’s why I understand they are just part of the healing process and they don’t make you unfit for duty.”
    Ashlyn stared at her mother, not understanding what she meant. What demons? She didn’t think she asked it aloud but the look on Elizabeth’s face was enough to know she had.
    “I may not have been betrayed like you and your people were, child, but I’m like any number of Marines. I’ve been in situations I wish I could forget. I’ve seen too many of my friends and innocent civilians die because of a careless order or an officer out for glory. Those are bad enough but seeing what those we fight against are capable of is much worse.” She paused and licked her lips, a haunted look clouding her expression. “Some of my demons stem from a time before I met your father. There’s a very long two week period I spent as a prisoner of some pirates. I won’t tell you all that happened, to me or to my fellow Marines. Hell, Ash, I’ve never told your father about it. Just know that it was bad enough to make me want to wipe every pirate and slaver out of existence in the most painful manner possible.”
    For one long moment, Elizabeth just sat there. Then she shook herself and it was if the memory of that time was gone.
    “Mom.” Ashlyn’s voice broke and she swallowed hard. It was no wonder her mother had been so understanding after her return from Tarsus.
    “As for the doctors, I’ll be honest. They are concerned that you’re holding too much inside.” Now she shook her head, a slight smile touching her lips. “You know how they are, darling. If you’ve been through Hell – and you have been – they want you to pound your chest and scream