Free Millions by Frank Cottrell Boyce Page A

hers.’
    ‘Right. Well, what d’you fancy watching?’
    We all watched the repeat of Monster Truck Tug of War until we realized Dad had fallen asleep. We didn’t know what to do with him. We couldn’t carry him upstairs. We took off his shoes, moved his feet up on to the couch and covered him with the small duvet. We weren’t sure whether to turn the telly off or not.
    I said, ‘Couldn’t we tell him about the money? Just to cheer him up?’
    Anthony said, ‘If you want to cheer him up, tell him a joke.’
    Outside, the reactive halogen lamp kept going on and off. It didn’t have any prohibitive effect on cats.

11
     
    Just to be logical about things: if it’s wrong to give money to people, then it must be right to take it off people. If it’s right to take it off people, then burglars and bank robbers are good people, which they’re not. Therefore, it’s not wrong to give money away. You just have to find the right people to give it to.
    And I had to find them in the next ten days.
    Every week during Art, Mr Quinn writes a title on the board and you can do a drawing, make a collage, build a model, whatever. This week he wrote ‘If I Got a Million Euros for Christmas . . .’
    Thank you, Mr Quinn.
    Everyone ran for the bendy-straws box – bendy-straw sculptures were the big thing that term – and got going on bendy-straw yachts, houses, cars, everything. Personally, I was staring at a big blank sheet of paper. I stared at it so long that I thought I was going to fall into it and be swallowed up in icy-white nothing.
    ‘I’ll do you a drawing if you’re stuck.’ It was Tricia Springer, who was the best at art.
    ‘Would you, honest?’
    ‘Sure. Could do you a yacht, or a car, or a house. That’s what most people have gone for. Or we could think outside the box – maybe a rocket, or horses, or a nice stretch of land.’
    ‘I just can’t think. What would you like to draw?’
    ‘I can draw horses out of my own head. Fifty quid each.’
    ‘How d’you mean?’
    ‘I’ll draw you one horse for fifty quid, two for 100, a herd for, you know, maybe 300. We could do a discount for anything over six. Obviously I won’t have to draw all their feet because some of them will be partly obscured.’
    ‘Why’s it so expensive?’
    ‘It’s not. You gave some kid a tenner for fetching your hot lunch for you the other day. This is my talent you’re buying here. I am the best at art.’
    ‘When I came to school on your bike, you said you didn’t need ten pounds.’
    ‘Times have changed. Where would a tenner get you in this school now? It’s a tenner for ten minutes on Keegan’s Gamecube. And it’s all down to you.’
    I gave her 100 quid for two horses without saddles but with some mountains in the background.
    I tried to discuss things with Anthony at Small Play. ‘It’s terrible. Everyone’s got money but no one’s any richer because everyone just charges more. I mean, 100 quid for a picture and it was felt pen. She wanted more for paints.’
    ‘Is she any good?
    ‘That’s not the point.
    ‘It is for me. Term’s over soon. Dad’s going to want to see my model of Tracy Island, the one I won the Subbuteo for.’
    ‘She’s the best at art.
    ‘Which one is she?
    I pointed her out. He ended up paying her another 100 for the model and she wanted fifty up front, even though the model wouldn’t be ready till the last week of term.
    ‘It’ll be worth it,’ said Anthony. ‘What d’you think of the Rockports?’
    He showed me his new shoes. They were red, with the laces tucked in at the side.
    I said, ‘Won’t Dad notice that you’ve got new shoes?’
    ‘He never notices anything. But I’m not sure about them anyway. Now that everyone’s got money, everyone’s got Rockports. They’re losing their prestige value.’
    ‘I need to ponder things in my heart,’ I said.
    I walked back across the playground with my eyes downcast, which is how I noticed that I was now the only boy not wearing