reservations about Christie getting so serious so young, if pushed, Julie would have to admit that she liked him. But her daughter’s relationship with him was scary. Jamie spent time with his divorced mother, and with his little sister and brother. And there had been a shooting just down the street from his home a few weeks ago in which people had been killed and a child had been injured. He came from a very bad part of town where drug deals were a daily occurrence.
He and Jon were talking. It was a surprisingly civilized conversation. Jon was laying down the driving law. Jamie was listening politely.“Daddy, Jamie is the best driver I know,” Christie insisted. “You don’t need to harangue him—”
“It’s okay, Julie,” Jamie said.
“Home straight after school,” her father said.
“No Coke, no fries, do not pass go, do not pause to collect your books!” Christie muttered.
“Christina—” Jon began.
Julie stepped forward at last—Ashley still attached to her, still whimpering. “You’d better get going before you’re late,” she advised. “Jamie, drive carefully; I know you will.”
“Bye, Mom.” Christie gave her a kiss on the cheek. She waved in her father’s general direction. She practically prodded Jamie out of the house.
The door closed to a moment of silence. “You let her do whatever she wants to do,” Jon said.
“What was she doing that was so wrong?”
“That kid is scary.”
“Jon, if you tell her she can’t see him, she’ll want to see him all the more. And he hasn’t done anything wrong.”
“People were shot by his place. Do you want that for Christie?” he demanded angrily.
Oddly enough, Jordan chose that moment to pipe up for his sister. “Bad things can happen anywhere, Dad.”
“Bad things happen more frequently in certain places.”
“Jamie would never let anything happen to Christie. Can we go? It’s not that I’ve been late every day to school, but I do just make it.”
Jon nodded, still watching his wife. The look he was giving her made Julie more uncomfortable than when he was angry. She didn’t know what he was seeing. She had the feeling he was ceasing to care what he saw.
“Yeah, let’s go, Jordan. Ashley.”
“I want Mommy to take me,” Ashley said.
“Well, Mommy doesn’t want to take you,” Jon said irritably.
“Jon!” She looked quickly to Ashley. “I just need to be a little earlier once in a while,” she explained. But some kind of damage had been done, she thought. She looked at the way Ashley was staring at her. Six. It was such a delicate age. Precious, because kids were still so darned cute. Fun, because they spoke well and had all kinds of things to say. Difficult, because they weren’t babies at all anymore, and they weren’t really grown-up enough to understand that love and anger could reside side by side.
She flashed her husband a glance, hating him. And maybe hating herself just a little because what he had said was true. She didn’t
want
to drive the kids. The drive was a hassle.She didn’t have to feel guilty about that! she told herself. Things that were a hassle should be shared.
She felt guilty anyway.
In a million years, though, Jon shouldn’t have said such a thing.
“Come on, kid,” Jon said, “Mommy needs to get in early today. Give her a big kiss now. Jordan will play I Spy with you on the way.”
Ashley suddenly started acting like a toddler going off to school for the first time. She kissed her mother half a dozen times before actually heading out to her father’s car. Jordan brushed her cheek with a good-bye peck.
Jon didn’t kiss her at all. He didn’t come near her. He kept looking at her in that very strange cold way.
Maybe he’d finally decided himself that the marriage was over. That he just didn’t care enough to fight her anger and apathy any longer.
Driving to work, Julie just didn’t know what she herself felt anymore. One minute, she was certain that she was right.