Free Surrender Your Grace by Maddie Taylor Page B
Authors: Maddie Taylor
hand as he looked at her. She was beautiful as always, but in this setting with nature around her and the gleam of excitement in her eyes, she looked even more stunning. The green of the surrounding foliage and the dark green of her riding habit enhanced the deeper color of her eyes. The sunlight filtering through the trees made the golden highlights in her auburn hair glimmer and shine. And her cheeks had taken on a faint rosy hue from the sunshine. He stroked her cheek with his free hand hating to disappoint her.
“I’d love to hide away from the world, just you and I. But unfortunately that is not practical. We both have family and friends in town and there is my seat in the Lords. If you want to stay here I will only be able to come back at the weeks end occasionally. The Kippford and Brighton properties are both out of the question. They are just too far away for routine visits. When we return to London, we will stay until the end of the season. So we have plenty of time before making any decisions.”
She frowned. She didn’t want to be like so many other couples living separate lives. The custom for the men to attend to business and pleasure in town while the women languished in the country raising the children, just didn’t sit right with her. How would she ever get to really know Andrew if she only saw him on occasional visits between seasons? The whole idea seemed old-fashioned and foolish to her and she didn’t like it at all.
“I can tell those options don’t hold much appeal. Would you dislike living in town so much then?”
“No, but you didn’t say that was an option. I’d love to stay in town with you.” Cici’s thoughts about men’s business and pleasure brought up a concern that she had been trying to ignore. But she needed to know the answer. “May I ask a very intimate question, Andrew?”
“Of course, as I said last night, there is nothing that can’t be shared between a husband and wife.”
She nodded and nervously brushed at some grass that clung to her skirt. “I was wondering, well… do you, uh-?”
“Go ahead and ask, Cici. I won’t bite.”
Nodding again he watched her take a deep breath. “Do you have a convenient?”
Andrews was surprised at her question. It was unheard-of for well-bred ladies to ask about their husband’s dalliances. But he had said she could ask anything. Careful what you offer old man, he thought. “The answer is no. I don’t currently have a mistress. When I decided to pursue your sister, I broke off with her.”
Cici looked away, sorry she had asked. It hurt to think of him with another woman. But he was a 28-year old man. She knew he wouldn’t have been a monk before marrying. In town, the aristocratic men ran through the subculture of the demimonde easily while their wives were oblivious, or at least acted like they were.
“Let me explain something. My father was a notorious rake before he married my mother. Once he settled down he never looked at another woman. His friends and other male relatives were not so inclined. They kept mistresses in town or visited the brothels thinking they were discrete, but their wives knew. My mother’s sister, Madeleine was so devastated by her husband’s infidelities that she left him and moved in with us. He tried to win her back, but the betrayal was too deep. She was crushed, fell into a deep melancholia and eventually died of a broken heart. Uncle Edward still mourns her. To my knowledge he hasn’t kept another mistress since her death. He is a shell of a man, guilt-ridden and alone. He fell into a trap like many other powerful men, thinking they could do anything, be anything, but without consequences. “
“What a horrid story.”
“Yes, I tell you this because I don’t want that for my marriage. I don’t want to have to sneak around behind your back with a kept lover. I want what my parents had. Theirs was a love match however.” He grasped both of her hands tightly when he saw her flinch
“I’d love to hide away from the world, just you and I. But unfortunately that is not practical. We both have family and friends in town and there is my seat in the Lords. If you want to stay here I will only be able to come back at the weeks end occasionally. The Kippford and Brighton properties are both out of the question. They are just too far away for routine visits. When we return to London, we will stay until the end of the season. So we have plenty of time before making any decisions.”
She frowned. She didn’t want to be like so many other couples living separate lives. The custom for the men to attend to business and pleasure in town while the women languished in the country raising the children, just didn’t sit right with her. How would she ever get to really know Andrew if she only saw him on occasional visits between seasons? The whole idea seemed old-fashioned and foolish to her and she didn’t like it at all.
“I can tell those options don’t hold much appeal. Would you dislike living in town so much then?”
“No, but you didn’t say that was an option. I’d love to stay in town with you.” Cici’s thoughts about men’s business and pleasure brought up a concern that she had been trying to ignore. But she needed to know the answer. “May I ask a very intimate question, Andrew?”
“Of course, as I said last night, there is nothing that can’t be shared between a husband and wife.”
She nodded and nervously brushed at some grass that clung to her skirt. “I was wondering, well… do you, uh-?”
“Go ahead and ask, Cici. I won’t bite.”
Nodding again he watched her take a deep breath. “Do you have a convenient?”
Andrews was surprised at her question. It was unheard-of for well-bred ladies to ask about their husband’s dalliances. But he had said she could ask anything. Careful what you offer old man, he thought. “The answer is no. I don’t currently have a mistress. When I decided to pursue your sister, I broke off with her.”
Cici looked away, sorry she had asked. It hurt to think of him with another woman. But he was a 28-year old man. She knew he wouldn’t have been a monk before marrying. In town, the aristocratic men ran through the subculture of the demimonde easily while their wives were oblivious, or at least acted like they were.
“Let me explain something. My father was a notorious rake before he married my mother. Once he settled down he never looked at another woman. His friends and other male relatives were not so inclined. They kept mistresses in town or visited the brothels thinking they were discrete, but their wives knew. My mother’s sister, Madeleine was so devastated by her husband’s infidelities that she left him and moved in with us. He tried to win her back, but the betrayal was too deep. She was crushed, fell into a deep melancholia and eventually died of a broken heart. Uncle Edward still mourns her. To my knowledge he hasn’t kept another mistress since her death. He is a shell of a man, guilt-ridden and alone. He fell into a trap like many other powerful men, thinking they could do anything, be anything, but without consequences. “
“What a horrid story.”
“Yes, I tell you this because I don’t want that for my marriage. I don’t want to have to sneak around behind your back with a kept lover. I want what my parents had. Theirs was a love match however.” He grasped both of her hands tightly when he saw her flinch