Free Kiss Mommy Goodbye by Joy Fielding Page A

herself. “So they went to the zoo—”
    “No! From the beginning. Once upon a time!”
    “You’re pressing your luck, kiddo!”
    “Tell me a story about a little boy named Roger and a little girl named Bethanny, and they went to the zoo to see the giraffes. And they took some peanuts with them. But the sign said ‘Do Not Feed The Amiuls.’”
    “The what?”
    “The amiuls,” he replied impatiently.
    “You mean, the animals?”
    “Yeah.” Of course, what’s the matter with you, lady? Can’t you hear good? “Would you tell me that one?”
    Donna took a deep breath. “Once upon a time there was a little boy named Roger and a little girl named Bethanny, and they went to the zoo to see the giraffes. And they took some peanuts with them. But the sign said ‘Do Not Feed The Animals.’ Okay?” Adam nodded. “And so—”
    “And so?”
    “And so they ate up all the peanuts by themselves,” Donna said quickly, “and had a wonderful time and went home to their mommies and lived happily ever after.” Donna kissed him gently on the forehead, stood up again and switched off the light.
    “Where’s your mommy?” the small voice asked, catching Donna off guard.
    She stumbled for several seconds. It was the first time he had asked her that particular question, and she wasn’t sure how to answer him. As simply as possible, she decided,hearing her voice soft against the semidarkness. “She’s dead, honey. She died a long time ago.”
    “Oh.” Long pause. Donna turned to go, feeling she had said the right thing. That wasn’t so hard, she thought. “What’s
died?”
he asked suddenly. Donna stopped. Did they really have to get into this now? She looked at Adam’s face. Yes, they obviously had to go into it now. She sat back down on the bed, her mind searching to recall what Benjamin Spock had advised in this regard.
    “Uh—let me see.” You certainly couldn’t tell a child who was about to go to sleep that death was like going to sleep, and somehow she choked on the thought of the word Heaven. Damn, she thought, can’t you wait a few days and ask then. That way, if Victor wins his suit he can deal with this little matter. “No,
I
will tell you,” she said aloud, Adam looking at her with sudden surprise. Victor would not win his case. He would not take her children away.
    “Why are you yelling?”
    “Oh, sorry.” She suddenly recalled Dr. Spock’s advice. “Everybody dies, sweetie,” she explained. “It happens to everything that lives—flowers, people—amiuls. It’s very natural and it doesn’t hurt or anything. We just stop living. But it usually doesn’t happen to people until they’re very old.” Adam was staring at her. “Do you understand? Is that okay?”
    He nodded, wordlessly, crawling deep inside his covers. Again, Donna kissed his forehead. “I love you, sweetie-pie.”
    “Good night, Mommy.”
    Donna walked the few steps down the hall to Sharon’s room and peeked inside. Sharon immediately sat up in her crib.
    “What are you doing up?” Donna asked her.
    The little girl said nothing, pulling herself up in the darkness and holding her hands out toward her mother. Donna walked over and pulled Sharon out of the crib, holding her warm little body against her own. “You’re supposed to be asleep, you know.”
    Sharon stared deeply into her mother’s eyes. Gently, slowly, with almost deliberate precision, Sharon lifted her right hand and brought it down in a gentle caress across Donna’s cheek. Donna hugged the little girl tightly against her. “Go to sleep, little one. I love you, my angel. Go to sleep, baby.”
    Sharon laid her head on Donna’s shoulder and quickly drifted off to sleep.
    “Mommy!” Adam’s voice penetrated the stillness.
    “I’ll kill him,” Donna said aloud, moving Sharon back to her crib and lowering her gently inside.
    “Mommy!”
    Donna stepped out into the hall, moving quickly back to Adam’s room. “What is it, Adam?” she asked, a hint