Free Eat Pray Love Made Me Do It by Elizabeth Gilbert Page B

over and rebuild my life. I wanted to replace allthat I had lost, and quickly. But I kept failing—in fact, for someone who had never failed at anything (until I failed at everything), it felt like I was overdosing on it.
    During this time, I happened to meet an intrepid British traveler who was making his way across America on six dollars a day. We became fast friends, and as he shared stories of his experiences, something stirred inside me. Here was this regular guy doing something completely unexpected. He was taking a risk, and he was being rewarded with human connection, cosmic support and adventure. I returned to the internal argument I had when I first watched
Eat Pray Love
. Could I do that? Could I have an adventure for the pure sake of personal growth?
    I let those questions marinate. I found a temporary job, and I started putting money away—subconsciously at first, but then intentionally. I started imagining the trip I would take. I had traveled internationally before but never alone and never anywhere exotic. At night after work, I would research places and dream of the possibilities. One day during a conversation with a coworker, she mentioned how one of her lifelong goals was to do a Vipassana course in Nepal. Even though I taught yoga and meditated, I was unfamiliar with Vipassana and only had a vague idea of where Nepal was located. As I listened to her, something clicked inside of me. I just knew. That’s what I would do! I would go to Nepal and take a Vipassana course. Later that day, I applied for the course. I told people, “Oh, I’m sure I won’t get accepted.” A few days later, I received my acceptance e-mail. My temporary job was ending in a few months. All of my colleagues were making other arrangements—finding new jobs, starting new ventures. Anytime someone asked me what my plans were,I would say, “Oh, I’m not sure. Maybe I’ll travel.” And then I would laugh nervously. I knew that I was going on the trip, but I was afraid to say it out loud for fear of judgment.
    In my private time, I would fret over the details. Did I have enough money? What would my family and friends think? Was I being foolish? I gave myself ultimatums. If I found a job before my departure date, then I would cancel the trip. Still, I kept planning. I decided that I would start in Thailand, make my way to Nepal for the course and then let the momentum of the trip lead me where it might. I would return to the States after three months (approximately how long I thought my budget would last).
    Finally, after months of self-doubt and procrastination, I made the final leap and bought my plane ticket. It was done. I was going.
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    H aving my ticket in hand didn’t stop me from continuing to agonize over my decision. Even on the plane, I felt sick to my stomach. But once my feet were on the ground in Thailand, I was committed. I joked after I left Thailand for Nepal, “That was certainly the ‘Eat’ portion of my
Eat Pray Love
adventure.” And on the plane to Nepal, as my breath caught in my chest at the first glimpse of the Himalayas, I thought to myself, “This has to be the ‘Love’ part.”
Eat Pray Love
found me wherever I went. People I met would kid me and ask me if I was on some kind of mission of self-discovery. I’d laugh, but I began to feel that Elizabeth Gilbert and I were cosmically connected—as single women, as brave souls, as truth seekers. And then, through a series of unforeseen events, I ended up on the island of Bali. Ihad forgotten that Bali was where Elizabeth, too, had ended her journey, until late one night when I was having dinner at a local
warung
. I was chatting with a Balinese man about my trip, and he said, “You remind me of that woman who came here and wrote that book.”
    That night, as I was getting ready for bed, I glanced at the bookshelf in my guesthouse and