Free The Isle of South Kamui and Other Stories by Kyotaro Nishimura Page B

needlessly beaten someone up.
    I looked at my own hands covered in blood. Pain swept over me. I wanted there to be another storm to wash away all the blood. Thick rain clouds were still racing fiercely northwards, but no rain fell.
    I went back to the villa still covered in blood and got into the shower. The dried blood caked my skin and would not come off. My body was throbbing with pain, but the mental anguish was worse. Why had I gotten into that fight? I recalled the guy’s face as he lay there covered in blood, and the voice yelling, “Please stop! You’ll kill him!” rang in my ears and would not go away. Why had I hit that guy? I had absolutely nothing against him. Nothing at all had warranted hitting him. But I had hit him anyway. Even after he passed out, I hit him again. There was no sense of accomplishment or exhilaration at winning. Yukibe would probably laugh at my behavior and say it was nonsensical. I deserved to be laughed at. I was a worthless human being.
    I wanted someone to comfort me. I didn’t need words. It would be enough for someone to silently watch over me as I grappled with my own wretchedness. Anybody would do. No, that was a lie. I wanted her to comfort me. Nobody else would do.
    I tiptoed down and peeked into the living room. She lay on the sofa with her eyes shut. He wasn’t there. The fact that she was alone struck me as a miracle.
    I went up to the sofa. She had her hands folded on her breast, and was breathing lightly in her sleep. Her sleeping face was beautiful and sensual.
    I’m in love with her .
    Since she was asleep, I could be honest about my feelings. I was in love with her.
    I knelt down and there before my eyes was her face, her breast, alive. What long eyelashes she had! Such white skin!
    I touched my lips to the back of her hand, which was folded on her breast. She was so cold! She carried on sleeping unawares. That emboldened me, and I grew more daring. Timidly I touched her slightly parted lips. A sweet fragrance enveloped me and a stab of ecstasy pierced my chest. I had kissed Yukibe sometime or other, but I had merely felt embarrassed. But this was different. My body trembled with joy. I forgot all about almost drowning, about my meaningless fight. My consciousness had been taken over by just one fact. I had kissed her . I had kissed her !
    When I looked up, I noticed a single small spot vivid against her white bosom. It was my blood. When I touched my lips to her, blood had fallen from my wound onto her breast. A moment of panic strangely dissipated as I stared at the spot of red blood. It was stunningly red. It was beautiful. I remembered the dream I had the night before. In the dream, when I fired, her naked white body had been stained red. I was seized by the sweet illusion that the dream had come true. Furthermore, this was my blood. My blood was staining her breast red. A desire to color her breast bright red swept over me. I went to touch her lips again. But just then, with a jolt I felt someone’s presence in the room.
    I turned around to see him standing in the doorway watching me. I disliked him, but until that moment I had not thought of him as hateful.
    I went over to him and fixed him with a glare, “Do you want something?” He smiled oddly, and said, “You shouldn’t do that” in a warning tone. “You shouldn’t do that sort of thing to her. You’ll just get hurt. You’re seventeen—it’s normal to start liking women at that age, but not her .”
    â€œDon’t talk about her like that!” I yelled.
    My heart felt heavy with anger and sadness at having been witnessed by such a man. The blend of anger and sadness was making me feel ferocious. She belonged to me! She was not his.
    â€œBut she’s your mother. And what’s more, she—”
    He continued talking in a hoarse voice, still with that unpleasant smile.
    â€œShut up. Shut up! ” I yelled, and hit his