Free Severed Angel by K. T. Fisher, Ava Manello Page A

our pain but I don't deserve her forgiveness. I stay here, out of sight.
    Music starts to flow through the church, my heart breaking even more when I hear the song. The Wonder of You , Elvis's song, the one he serenaded us all with at any opportunity. Even some of the tough looking bikers look red eyed hearing this.
    The service passes by in a teary blur. I only realize it's over when people start heading out of the door. Diane moves over to me. Her own face tear strewn.
    She reaches out for my arm. "Come on sweetie, let's get you out of here." At first I think she's showing me sympathy. Then I realize she's just trying to get me out of the away before Sue and Teresa see me. I let her lead me outside.
    The graveside service is somber. Teresa collapses as the coffin is lowered into the ground, howling with grief. "Don't leave me Daddy.", Prez tries to lift her to her feet, but she won't move. "You promised me, you fucking promised me you wouldn't leave me Daddy."
    Her pain makes my tears flow faster. The guys each say their farewell to Elvis before heading back to their bikes. Teresa hasn't moved. Prez reaches down and lifts her into his arms with such tenderness, carrying her back to the car. My tears haven't stopped at all since I woke this morning.
    When they have gone I'm left standing at the graveside, alone. I walk closer, grabbing a fistful of dirt and throw it on the coffin. "I'm so sorry Elvis. I wish it was me lying there instead of you. You didn't deserve this. I love you."
    Completely broken I head back to the last of the waiting cars.

Chapter Twelve
    Eve
    When I get back to the clubhouse the wake for Elvis is in full swing. There are bikers and old ladies everywhere, kids too so the club whores have been told to stay away. This is a family affair after all.
    I see everyone is deep in conversation with someone else, and has a drink in hand. There's no sign of Teresa, Diane or Sue anywhere. I slowly walk up to the bar, ordering a vodka shot from the prospect on duty. Immediately I ask for another along with a beer, he gives me a worried look but pours the drinks anyway. I don't even like beer but fuck it.
    I look around from my lonely perch at the bar. There's rock music playing i n the background, and everyone seems to be getting along; they don't even notice me. I don't belong here, I feel so out of place. Ordering another beer to go, I walk back to my room, avoiding everyone on my way.
    Stripping out of my black knee length dress, I slip into something a little more comfortable, a tiny vest and sleep short combo. I finish the rest of my beer, then reach for the other bottle. Getting comfortable on the bed, there's a murmur from everyone else having a good time talking about Elvis. I lay on my own, only my thoughts of Elvis to keep me company. I laugh out loud at some of the funny moments, like when he took me and Teresa to a park. There was a huge slide, the thing was so high we were scared to go on, Elvis tried to reassure us it was fine. We didn't believe him so in the end he got up the ladder and went down himself. Now Elvis has always been a big man so halfway down he got stuck and like any normal ten year olds we almost peed ourselves from laughing. The memory still makes me giggle.
    About an hour later the music turns louder and I start to become sleepy. Crying all day does that.
    ***
    There's silence when I wake up. Looking over at the clock it's 4:00am. Rolling over I try to get back to sleep but I just can't. Every time I shut my eyes I see either Lola lying butchered on the ground, or my sweet Elvis lying dead. Deciding to give up on sleep I slip on my shoes, making my way to the TV room through the bar. There's no sign of anyone anywhere, they must all be sleeping. I decide to not give a shit, making myself at home behind the bar. After another beer goes down a treat I grab the bottle of Vodka and walk toward the TV room. I feel more comfortable in there, it feels cleaner. It probably isn't but there