Free Circles by Marilyn Sachs Page B

have said that. You’re entitled to your own life.”
    “Mom ...”
    “No, no.” She waved a hand at him. “It’s good for you to make your own way. I know you’ll have to look out for yourself living with your father.”
    “Mom ... that’s not fair. He’s really very good to me. He ... he ... really cares about me, and Jeddy and Marcy too.”
    His mother flicked some ashes into the ashtray, smiled a phony smile at him, and said, “So, Mark, tell me what’s happening to you. I want to hear everything.”
    Jeddy came into the room, carrying one of his new games. “Mom, can I go over to Brian’s house? He says I can sleep over.”
    “Tomorrow’s school,” his mother said, “and you haven’t done your homework.”
    “I’ll do it over there. Please, Mom.”
    “You’ll have to change your clothes.”
    “Okay, Mom, I’ll change my clothes.”
    “And take a shower first.”
    Jeddy was already out of the room.
    “You never used to let me sleep over at anybody’s house on a Sunday night,” Mark said.
    His mother shrugged. “I’m not so fussy anymore. Maybe I was too fussy with you. Maybe if I hadn’t been ...”
    “Mom ...” he began again. Today he noticed that most of his sentences began with “Mom” and didn’t necessarily have any middles or ends.
    “Anyway ...” she stubbed out the cigarette, picked up the pack, hesitated, and laid it down again without taking out a new cigarette. She smiled at him, and he smiled back. Then she leaned towards him, and took his hand. “So tell me what’s happening. How’s school? How are you managing?”
    “Fine. Everything’s just fine.”
    His mother nodded, pressed his hand, and waited for details.
    “I... I went up to Mount Tarn last night with a club called the City Astronomers. We stayed out until three and we saw—”
    “Until three?” his mother repeated, dropping his hand. “And your father didn’t mind?”
    “Mom ...”
    The phone rang. His mother rose quickly and headed towards it. Mark leaned back against his chair, wondering when he could go over to Cindy’s. He’d called her, and she said she would be home all evening. He knew he’d have to eat dinner with his mother, and he just hoped she wouldn’t feel offended if he left soon afterwards so he could spend some time with Cindy. He wondered if Cindy would be willing to meet him in the city some time—maybe next Sunday. No, next Sunday wouldn’t be any good because his father was inviting Barbara and her daughter over. Well, maybe the following week.
    “Mark,” his mother called out, “come here a minute.” He heard her say something, laughing into the phone, and she raised a smiling face up to him, still cheered by the conversation she was having with the person on the other side of the line. “Mark, how long are you staying tonight?”
    “Oh—well—I don’t know.”
    “Were you planning to have dinner?” His mother was asking him if he planned to have dinner. Not telling him she was expecting him to stay for dinner, not making him feel he had to stay because she expected him to.
    “Well, if you want me to stay ...” he said tentatively.
    She covered up the phone with her hand. “Mark, it’s up to you. If you have other plans ...”
    “Well, I was planning on seeing Cindy.”
    “Fine,” she said. “So you’re not staying for dinner. I’m free,” she announced into the phone. “What? Oh sure. Eight? Yes, that’s okay. Jeddy is sleeping over at a friend’s, and Marcy ... well, I’ll tell her to be home before I leave. She doesn’t mind staying alone for a few hours.”
    When she hung up, she had a cheerful look on her face.
    “Is that a new boyfriend, Mom?” Mark asked, trying to look cheerful, too, and approving. Actually, he felt neglected and sorry for himself. His own mother asking him if he planned on staying for dinner!
    “No, no,” said his mother. “I’m taking a sabbatical from men this year. That’s Eleanor—oh, you don’t know her.