Free A World of InTemperance (The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance Book 2) by Ichabod Temperance Page B

brains.
    Bink! Bink! Tinkety-Bink!
    Binkety! Binkety! Binkety! Binkety!
    Tinkety! Tinkety! Bink!
    Like two high-speed Nipponese swordsmen, we trade licks faster than the eye can follow.
    “Come back here and fights me with a bit o’ dignity, you scurvy crocodile buggerin’ Dingaroot!”
    A wide eyed, screaming in terror guard runs past my opponent and me.
    “Save some for me, Itch-a-ma-bod.. Rrrawrrh!!!”
    The crazed Australian runs out the loading bay doors, pipe held high, eyes flashing red as the screaming banshee descends upon his hapless victim.
    “Eek!” Shrieks my assailant, choosing to flee into the woods rather than face a pipe wielding James Murray.
    “Ha ha ha!” laughs a very satisfied and amused James. “Those boys can make some pretty fast tracks when properly motivated!”
    “So can that guy,” I reply, indicating the onslaught of our stomping, steam-stoved, ten-ton antagonist.
    From deep in the factory, the giant makes for us.
    He gains speed.
    He builds momentum.
    The mechanical menace means mayhem for me and Murray.
    An aura of anger arises around the metal angel of angst.
    The tundra trembles with trepidation at the terrible tread.
    The lumbering lummox looms large.
    James’ face, formerly framed with fearless ferocity, fails famously.
    “Please leave him to me, Mr. Murray.”
    I backhand my pipe across the fifty feet to the doorway, smashing a lantern, one of the guards had sat down.
    Colorful flames wash along with the kerosene across the factory floor.
    HAH- W H H O O O O O O O OS S SH HH!!!
    “Run!” exclaim James and I in unison.
    We grab up the burnt guard between us and fly.
    A glimpse back reveals LeadeFoote in the large loading dock doorway, his terrible frame bathed in the light of the noxious flames.
    BUH - BO O O M !!!
    The factory explodes, its stout, windowless walls stubbornly refusing to let the force of the explosion expand laterally.
    All the energies are guided upward to blow the roof off this joint. A portion of the blast sends parts of LeadeFoote flying past our ears.
    “Did you guys see that?” asks James Murray as we rejoin our comrades back at the sleigh stash.
    “They probably saw that all the way back in Winniedepuh.” says Miss GoldenBear.
    “Hmm. Yes. Perhaps we did give away the element of surprise,” admits an ever jubilant James.
    Miss Plumatrtt and Miss GoldenBear step in to help the injured guard with his wounds.
    “I say, you would do well to reconsider your career choice, young man. Perhaps you should return home and request further guidance from your worried mother, eh hem?”
    The thankful mercenary hurries home to heed this good advice.
    “Excuse me mon frere, but if you will listen, maybe you shall hear the approach of the cavalry, too!”
    “Ja, DeeDee, I hear horses, but, I hear something else, also. It has a mechanized quality.”
    We gain a vantage point from which to observe our new guests. We see six mounted troops, accompanied by something I have never seen before: a steam-driven sleigh. Two rear-mounted belts of linked plates turn as stationary treadmills to propel the vehicle. A pair of skis, in the front, steer the snow-carriage. The normal steam engine accoutrements, furnace, boiler, machinery, controls, reservoir and coal bin are in evidence.
    Horses rear up before the smelly, flamed rubble of the destroyed factory. Angry and excited riders yell, point, and gesture with disbelief.
    A figure rises from the snow steamer and dismounts.
    Even at a distance, his wrath is easy to discern.
    “Bring me the fool that has failed in his pledged service!” hisses the Big Kahuna loudly enough for us to hear him at a distance of a hundred yards.
    The guard that had originally run for reinforcement is brought to Johnny Big Pants.
    No, not pants. He is dressed in a strange robe of studded leather. This frock is  trimmed at the hems and collar in fakey black fur. A circular, conical, black hat, rimmed with more black fur, rises to a steel topped