erotic art. But she bought me my first camera.” I pause, the memory hitting me hard. “I hope she understands how much it means to me, knows why I do it.” I finally look up, meeting Holland’s gaze, her eyes shining with moisture. “I’d like to think she’s proud of me.”
She clears her throat, placing her napkin on top of her plate, and forces a weak smile. “Do you think she knows? That she can see what you’ve become?”
Her voice is gravelly, as if she’s nearly choking on the words, and I wonder if we’re still talking about me.
“I don’t know,” I admit. “Life’s a constant struggle. You make it over one hill just to find ten larger ones waiting for you. Some days I hope she’s with me—that I’m not struggling alone. Others, I pray she has no idea about the things I’ve done and the choices I’ve made.”
She nods stiffly, shifting her head away just as a tear slides down her cheek, rolling under her chin, before dripping onto her chest. I change my mind, knowing that’s the trail my lips will take.
18
Holland
As soon as we’re finished cleaning the kitchen, Jensen hands me a fresh glass of wine and takes my other hand, leading me directly into his bedroom. He leaves a soft kiss on each of my eyelids, then both of my cheeks. His lips part, running over my chin and down my neck, his tongue skimming my skin in a searing path. Openmouthed kisses trace my collarbone, his breath warm as it blows gently against me. He untangles the blanket wrapped around me, letting it fall to the floor at my feet, and unclasps my bra, dropping it on top. The last kiss, he places over my heart.
He takes my glass, setting it down as he dips into the second drawer in his nightstand, bringing four cords and a thick black scarf out, which he tosses onto the bed. I lift my foot behind me to remove my heels, but he motions quickly for me to stop. I drop my foot back to the floor, awaiting his direction.
“Leave them on or you won’t be tall enough.”
I arch a brow. Tall enough for what? He definitely has me intrigued. His eyes remain on my face as he circles around the bed, coming up behind me. He presses his chest into my back, his hands rubbing firmly along my hips as he encloses them around me, pinning me too him. My stomach muscles tighten with expectancy. What I’ve learned in our short amount of time together is that Jensen doesn’t do anything halfway. Whatever he is getting ready to do to me is going to be twisted and hot. And I can’t get enough of it.
“Bend over the foot rail,” he commands in the husky voice that makes my thighs clench. “Spread your arms and legs out.”
I follow his instructions, extending my limbs and spreading myself out until I resemble a bent starfish, bowed over the end of his bed. He fastens my ankles first, tethering my legs to the bottom of the bed posts. His hands glide up the backs of my legs, cupping my ass before falling away. He leans into me then, his jeans cool against my bare skin, the weight of his chest resting on my back as he binds my wrists next. My arms are held straight out at my sides, but I notice this rope has some give, allowing me to move slightly. Last is the scarf. He secures it over my eyes and guides me farther down until my cheek is pressed into the bed. This position pulls on my shoulders, the light twinge of pain not entirely unpleasant.
I feel him move away and I listen intently, trying to determine what he’ll do next. His hair brushes my thigh and I gasp at the unexpected touch. Both palms stroke my behind, massaging, as his lips move up my leg. “Don’t move,” he whispers.
Seconds tick by like this, his hands gripping me tightly, his mouth caressing up and down my legs. I whimper with need. I’m so turned on, I just want him inside of me, soothing the ache. Without warning, his hands shift, parting me, and his tongue slides between my ass cheeks, licking fast and hard. I suck in a startled breath and release it