Free Just Say Yes by Elizabeth Hayley Page B

you. Glad everything is going well. I guess it was just . . . wishful thinking.”
    Scott started walking toward the free weights, but Tim stepped in front of him. “What does that mean? Wishful thinking?”
    â€œNothing,” Scott answered, dragging a hand through his blond hair. “I just . . . I was just hoping that maybe you’d met someone is all.”
    â€œWhy would you be hoping that?”
    â€œIn the seven years you’ve been clean, have you had a single girlfriend?” Scott’s voice was hushed, but Tim heard him just fine.
    Tim felt his jaw tighten at the question. That was none of Scott’s business. Tim knew he was only asking because he gave a shit, but what the fuck? “I don’t have time for girlfriends.”
    Scott stepped up to him, looking him dead in the eyes that looked like his own. “Bullshit.”
    Tim sagged back and let out a long breath. “I’m not saying I haven’t gone out with girls in the past seven years. I’m not a fucking monk.”
    â€œThat’s not what I’m talking about and you know it. Sure, you’ve had your fair share of one-night stands and blitz romances. We both have. But there’s a lot to be said for being in a real relationship. With a girl who’s looking for more than just a good time.”
    â€œThat’s all I’m good for,” Tim muttered as he turned and headed for the other end of the gym, not even sure of his exact destination. He just wanted to get away from Scott. Away from their conversation. But before he made it two steps, he felt a solid hand on his forearm. He allowed Scott to turn him around, even though Tim was stronger than his brother. At least physically.
    â€œWhat the hell does that mean?”
    Suddenly Tim’s anger surged. If Scott wanted to get into it, then that’s exactly what they’d do. “Come on, Scott. My life isn’t a goddamn fairy tale. It’s a jumbled mess of fuck-ups, relapses, cravings, jagged scars, and canyons of regret. No woman worth spending a lifetime with is going to want to deal with all of the shit that comes along with loving me. I’m more trouble than I’m worth.”
    â€œYou don’t really believe that.” Scott looked as if Tim had punched him. “You haven’t relapsed once in seven years, Tim. For Christ’s sake, if anyone deserves some fucking happiness, it’s you.”
    For all Tim knew, Scott meant his words. But the more likely scenario in his mind was that Scott was just talking bullshit to make Tim feel better. To keep him from sinking into a place so dark and depressing that he turned to drugs to claw his way out. What Scott didn’t know, though, was that Tim lived in that place for at least part of every day. He didn’t turn to drugs anymore because they added another wrinkle to the equation, one Tim couldn’t handle anymore: isolation. At least without the dope, he still had his brother. That thought didn’t stop him from lashing out, though. “Why? Why do I deserve that?” He was practically growling the words, but Tim couldn’t bring himself to care. “And seven years is nothing. Do you know that not a single day goes by that I don’t think about using? I’m not even sure an hour goes by, Scott. This”—Tim pounded on his chest with a fist—“is a fucking life sentence. Being in this body, stuck with this weak mind.” He said the words with a vehement disgust that made Scott wince. “Why would I ever saddle someone else with that? Now, just fucking drop it.”
    And with that, Tim whirled around and took off toward the locker room, leaving Scott standing in the middle of the gym, as Tim struggled not to self-destruct.
I guess some things never change.

Chapter 8
    Blend
    â€œTim, I don’t care if it’s on the original list. I
can’t
get a tattoo. It’s too . . .