Free The List (Part Five) by Allison Blane Page A

priority.
    That she was his priority.
    She rolled over and stared at the clock. It was 4:30 in the morning, and if she hadn't come up with answers yet, she certainly wasn't going to have them tonight. The best thing to do would be to close her eyes and pray for sleep to come.

    T he rays of sun streaming through the window felt a little too forceful this morning. Dana blinked, rubbing her eyes before finally burrowing her head into the pillow again.
    Oh god, she'd have to face Jax today.
    Or, more accurately, Jax would have to face her.
    And the worst part of it was she still had an indecipherable ache in her chest whenever she thought about the whole situation.
    With a deep breath, she rolled to her feet and stretched.
    Today was going to be a tough one, but she was going to face it.
    As she slid into her robe and slippers, she yawned and then padded toward the door only to nearly slip and fall on something.
    A tiny piece of paper had apparently been stuffed under her door last night, and she bent over to find the now slightly discomforting sight of her husband's handwriting.

    D ana ,

    I can't begin to say how sorry I am, What I did was a violation of your trust and your privacy. I promise you, I will do whatever I can to make up for what I've done to you.
    I thought all night about the best way to start, and I think the best solution is to give you my list. I know it's not exactly the same as what I did, but I hope it will make you feel like we're close to being on even footing.

    1 . Falling asleep inside you

    2 . You surprising me in the shower when I'm getting ready for work.

    3 . Eating ribs while having sex (this, I think, is everyone's sexual fantasy)

    S he suppressed a laugh , then continued on, turning over the page to read through each and every one of his 57 wishes.
    Some were sexy, some were silly, and some were deeply intimate, but the more she read, the more she knew how much time he'd spent. He'd poured himself onto this page, and as far as she was concerned that was worth something. She read over the closing again and sat back on the bed, tilting her mouth to one side as she deliberated her options.

    I know this isn't enough, but it is a start, and make no mistake--these are not requests. I could live my whole life without any of these things happening. The most important part of any of them--the thing that makes them fantasies--is that they're all with you. For me, you are the only thing I need.

    I love you ,

    J ax

    T here was , she decided, no determining the correct course of action. All she could do was go face her husband, and once she laid eyes on him, the right answer would come to her.
    It had to.
----
    W hen Dana walked into the room, he sat bolt upright, his heart already in his throat as he waited for her to speak. Apparently, though, she was determined to make that no easy task.
    For a long while, she stood in the doorway of their bedroom staring from him to the letter in her hand and back again. Her expression was mercilessly blank and he wondered if she'd read the letter or if she simply hadn't cared enough to make the effort.
    He swallowed, wondering if maybe he should explain, but after what he'd written, what else was there to say?
    Finally, she crossed the room and sat in the armchair nearest the door. With her mouth tilted to the side, she set the letter down on the coffee table in front of her, then leaned back in her chair.
    "I read it." She said at last.
    He nodded, waiting for the verdict.
    "It was thoughtful and I...appreciate that." She took a deep breath, her normally smooth brow wrinkled in concentration. Last night's makeup still coated her face, though now it was smudged with sleep and time. It didn't matter.
    She was still the most beautiful woman he'd ever laid eyes on.
    "You're right that it's not the same. This letter, I mean. But, I thought a lot about what must have been going through your mind when you found the list. I wondered what I would have done if I were in