Free Bear The Blaze (Firebear Brides 3) by Anya Nowlan Page A

talk,” Abigail shot back simply.
    No way in hell was she getting off his lap and give him another chance to weird out. Nope, she was staying right there and whatever he had to say, he’d have to get it out right now. He chuckled as her hands fisted around the material of his shirt, like she was intending to hang on for dear life.
    “I haven’t told you everything about me yet,” he said.
    “I’d hope so!” she laughed. “I’d like to think there’s more to you than a few conversations can reveal.”
    “Sure, but I mean the big stuff. Abigail, I’m an addict,” he said, leaning back so their eyes could meet.
    Abigail blinked a few times, looking at him. Ragnar Hamilton, the man so strictly in command of his feelings and actions, an addict? It was a surprise, no doubt. But thinking about it, it made sense. The way he took himself out of situations that could turn painful for him, how closed off he sometimes was… she’d known men who’d had that in their past, and a few who were addicts in the present. It wasn’t an easy way to live.
    “Drugs?”
    “Whiskey,” he said with a wry smirk. “I’ve been clean for years now, but you almost made me want to drink.”
    Her cheeks paled as the blood rushed out of her face. Was that why he’d been so damn distant? That she was bad for his… sobriety?
    “You have to explain yourself better than that,” she said softly.
    “I intend to. Abigail, I think you’re much better for me than I could be for you. I have my problems and I’m not ashamed to admit that they run deep. My father, my past… it isn’t something I enjoy talking about. Royce and Redmond do not know about the drinking, but Rhodes does. And I’m not even sure if my older brothers ever realized what really happened to Dad. But I told you. I wanted you to know everything, and I still do.”
    He paused, causing Abigail to frown. If she could have, she would have burrowed even deeper into his lap, hanging off of his every word as she was.
    “What does that mean?”
    “I know you’re my mate, Abigail,” he said, keeping his gaze steady as a million butterflies flooded her stomach.
    She knew what that meant. Hell yes she did. Having worked in the fire department for as long as she had, she’d seen more than one firebear find their mate and their heart right along with it. Ragnar telling her that explained a lot, and made her realize that perhaps deep down inside she already knew. Wasn’t that why she’d allowed herself to fall so easily for him, or was the werebear magic rubbing off on her as well?
    “Then why did you ignore me?” she asked, hating herself for sounding so silly.
    “I didn’t want to. I thought you would be better off without me. Without my darkness. I’m not an easy man to love, beautiful, and from the bottom of my heart, I want what’s best for you. But what happened at the workshop changed things. I don’t want to pressure you into anything. That’s the last thing I desire, but I had to tell you. I needed you to know that however I acted, however I will act, it’s all because… I love you.”
    It hit her like a mallet to the stomach. Her mouth opened and closed a few times as she stared up into his soulful hazel eyes, not a shred of dishonesty to them. She could always be sure that Ragnar Hamilton was honest to the bone. The way he held his heart out for her to see was amazing.
    “I don’t want you to leave. I want you to stay with me, here in Idaho, and we’ll figure things out. If it doesn’t work, okay, but I want to know that I at least tried. And I wanted to be honest with you. It is, at the very least, what you deserve,” he said, his expression hardening.
    Instinctively, her hand went up to his face, tracing the lines of his high cheekbones and the rugged sharpness of his jaw. God, he was the most handsome man she’d ever seen and here he was, telling her he loved her after barely knowing her for a week and then dragging her out of a burning building.