Free Fifty Days of Sin by Serena Dahl Page B

to his
normal self, as he goes obediently to the kitchen. It’s almost like
a split personality. I hear him boiling the kettle and smile,
thinking of the great sex we’ve just had. I was completely shocked
by his declaration that he’d like to try being the dominant one,
and surprised again at my enjoyment of the pain of being whacked on
the bottom with a Sunday supplement. I pick up the magazine he used
and see that there’s a place on the back cover that’s glistening
with my body’s juices. I must have been so wet that it got onto the
magazine when he hit me. Feeling myself blush, and then feeling
foolish for blushing when I’ve just acted so brazenly with Michael,
I pull a tissue out of the box and wipe it off.
    And then I think of Adam, and
how the thought of his kiss was the trigger for my climax as
Michael watched me touch myself. As I hear Michael busy himself in
the kitchen, I feel guilty again.
    I haven’t promised anything to
Adam, but all the same, he probably assumes that I’m single. Not
that my relationship with Michael is a traditional boyfriend and
girlfriend arrangement, but it’s unusual for me to get involved
with anyone without being straight with them about my multiple
partners, right from the start. I usually find it an easy
conversation to have – but that’s when I start out with a new
partner like Edward, and I know I can take him or leave him. It’s
not like that with Adam. In the short time I’ve known him he’s
already become really important to me. So I don’t relish raising
the subject with him at all.
    And despite the physical
connection I feel with Michael, I know I will only ever be
attracted to and fond of him – nothing more intense than that. The
feelings I’m developing for Adam threaten to be something much
deeper, so I wonder if the step I took with Michael today was
unwise.
    Perhaps, given my feelings for
Adam, I should be backing off and ending my relationship with
Michael. Instead, we’ve just taken it to a new, more pleasurable
level.
    And because of that, I can’t
help feeling a little uneasy.

Eight
    Friday, 13 April
    I’M DESPERATE TO HEAR FROM ADAM.
Every day, I expect a text message or an email, or to answer the
phone and hear his voice. When the doorbell rings, I keep on
half-expecting to see that’s he’s turned up on my doorstep; but
it’s the window cleaner asking for his payment, or a neighbour
bringing a parcel that the postman left while I was out at
work.
    So I deliver my lectures, run my
tutorials, come home at night and eat alone in front of the TV. I
don’t plan any nights out in case Adam gets in contact and asks me
for another date. But he doesn’t.
    I’m beset by anxiety. Has he had
second thoughts about me? I thought we got on so well last Saturday
night. I thought he was attracted to me too – he certainly seemed
to be when he kissed me. Has he changed his mind, or met someone
else and fallen headlong in love? Has he somehow found out about
Michael and I, and counted it as cheating on him?
    My appetite wanes, my sleep
suffers, and when I look in the mirror in the mornings I see dark
circles under my eyes. Okay, I always have them, but now they’re
doubly bad. Thank heavens for Laura Mercier concealer.
    A weekend passes, and another
weekend is coming up. It’s nearly a fortnight now and I’ve heard
nothing from Adam. My Facebook posts have become decidedly morose,
although I don’t disclose the reason why I’m feeling so down. I
haven’t told anyone about him, and don’t want to splash my
disappointment all over the internet. I’ve stopped grabbing my
phone and checking straight away every time I hear a message
arrive; I’ve given up on it being Adam.
    I’ve seen Michael twice in this
time, and we seem to be getting into a routine of taking turns to
dominate. Last week I gave him a thorough caning; this week he tied
me up face down on the floor and whipped my bottom with a plastic
ruler, and then we had some very enthusiastic