Free Louise Rennison_Georgia Nicolson 03 by Knocked Out by My Nunga-Nungas Page B

“Imagine snogging someone with a mustache.”
    And she said, “What, like Miss Stamp?”
    9:30 p.m.
    Jools had been looking at Rollo for about a million centuries and moaning and droning on about him. He was hanging out with a bunch of lads round thebar. I was trying to concentrate on looking at the Sex God. He is sooooo cool. He’s by far the coolest in the band. Dom, Chris and Ben are all quite groovy-looking but they don’t have that certain je ne sais quoi that the Sex God has. That extra snogosity. That puckery gorgeosity combined with fabulosity. That sexgoderosity.
    Jools didn’t seem to know I was in Snog Heaven because she was rambling on. “He’s quite fit, isn’t he?”
    â€œYeah, he’s gorgeous and he’s all mine, mine, miney.”
    â€œGee, I mean Rollo, you banana.”
    I was less than interested but she went on and on. “Should I go across?”
    Pause.
    â€œOr is that too pushy?”
    Pause.
    â€œI think it’s always best to play a bit hard to get, don’t you? Yes, that’s how I’ll play it. He’ll have to beg to get my attention.”
    9:35 p.m.
    Jools was sitting on Rollo’s knee and snogging for England. Oh well. As I said to Ellen, “She’sobviously gone for the playing-hard-to-get-ticket.”
    9:39 p.m.
    Tom told me that the “talent scout” was Dom’s dad who helps with the band’s equipment. He told Dom he thought I was trying to get off with him. OhmyGodohmyGod. I would now have to spend the rest of the night and probably the rest of my life not looking at Dom’s dad.
    I told Ellen, but she was too busy waiting for Dave the Laugh to show up. I must have been to the loos with her about a hundred times just in case she has missed him in the dark somewhere.
    I am without doubt a great mate. You wouldn’t get Jas trailing backwards and forwards to the loos. Mostly because she seems to be glued to Tom. She has very little pride.
    Quite a few lads have asked me to dance. Well, their idea of asking me to dance, which means they hang round showing off when I’m dancing with my mates. I must have that thing that you can get. You know, like baboons. When female baboons are in the mood they get a big red bottom and then the male baboons know they are in themood and gather round. Yes, that must be it—I must have the metaphorical red bottom because of the Sex God.
    10:00 p.m.
    On his break Robbie came offstage and he looked over at me. This was it, this was the moment that everyone would know I was his girlfriend!! At last all my dreams were beginning to come true. I was going to be the official girlfriend (OG)!! No more hiding our love from the world. Just snogging-a-gogo and Devil take the hindmost. I couldn’t wait to see Wet Lindsay’s face when Robbie came over to me. Tee hee. Yessss!!!!
    In the meantime I lived in Cool City. I was sipping my drink and pretending to talk to Jas and Tom, although every time Jas said anything it really annoyed me. I’d say, “OhmyGodohmyGod, I think he’s coming over…. Oh, that absolutely useless tart Sammy Mason is thrusting herself at him now.”
    And Jas would say, “She’s actually quite a nice person, really good at blodge.”
    Ludicrous, stupid, pointless things she was saying. In the end I said, “Jas, can you just pretendto talk to me, but don’t say anything in case I have to hit you.”
    Now there was a whole group of girls round Robbie, giggling and jiggling about in front of him! Then Wet Lindsay slimed up. And actually touched his cheek. My boyfriend’s cheek she touched. With her slimy hand. Tom said, “Leave it, Gee, just be cool. Honestly, he’ll like it better if you don’t make a fuss.”
    Huh. What did Hunky know about it? Then he said, “Besides which, you’re not long off your stick, and she will definitely kill you.”
    Fair point. She had