Free Jackie's Week by M.M. Wilshire Page A

hasn’t moved a
muscle since we got here."
    "He is polite. Until he’s not."
    "And then what?"
    "Then he's horrendous."
    "Johnson, what are the chances of a lady like
me ever owning a dog like Heinz? If I’d had a dog that night
..."
    He looked at her searchingly for a moment.
"In a perfect world, every lady would have a friend and protector
like Heinz. But in the real world, the chances of you getting a dog
like this are zero."
    "Figures."
    Johnson nodded then suddenly locked eyes with
her. "Jackie, this is terrible and I shouldn’t just blurt this out,
but do I even have a chance with you?"
    "Johnson! Are you out of your mind?"
    "I’m sorry," he said. "I take it all back.
Let’s just pretend I never said it."
    "Johnson, don’t go getting your feelings
hurt. Besides, you don’t know what you’re asking. You wouldn’t want
me if you really knew me. C’mon, Johnson, I’m a lush. I don't
bathe."
    "It’s a start."
    "No, I mean a real lush. I do stupid things.
I bought a car in a blackout last night. A Lexus. And I nearly went
home with the salesman."
    "I know."
    "You know about the car?"
    "Yeh. My man told me."
    "Is he watching us now?"
    "No. I’m watching you now. It’s no big deal.
Now let’s drop the subject."
    "Quit acting like a kid, Johnson. What could
I possibly offer you? I am a basket case."
    "We all have problems. Everybody goes through
hard times. Maybe you should see yourself the way I do. I like you
just the way you are."
    The words expanded inside her, filling her,
releasing her from the prison of shame and guilt. Her darkness was
not counted against her by the man sitting across from her. A
revelation.
    "Okay, I’m a little flattered," she said,
then frowned. "Oh, wait a minute. I get it. You’re a man who likes
to work with dogs, to train them to follow your every command and
be obedient. And now you’ve found a woman who is weak and
vulnerable and scared, and you think you can just overpower me and
mold me into the perfect little woman to obey your commands."
    "Jackie, it’s not like that."
    "The hell it isn’t."
    "But it isn’t! Or is it? Is that what I’m
doing? Geez. You know, you could be right. That is scary." He began
to chuckle.
    "Johnson," she said, frowning. "What exactly
the hell are you looking for?"
    "Well, it has nothing to do with training
you, believe me," he said. What am I looking for? Very simple. Just
to see you more often. Even in the midst of all this."
    "And do what with me?"
    "Please, Jackie. I can’t really explain it.
There’s just this ... this thing I feel when I’m with you. It’s
crazy. It makes no sense. How can I put this? It’s more about this
feeling that I have the day after I see you. I know I won’t be
seeing you again for awhile, and it makes me feel kind of, uh,
well, empty, or hungry or something."
    "Oh my God, Johnson! You are pathetic. You’re
just lonely, that’s all. And do you know how I know that? I know
that because you think I’m the reason you’re feeling lonely, but it
can’t be, because you don’t really know anything about me. Not the
first blessed thing! Do you ever wonder what I do all day? Well, I
will tell you. I drink vodka and I vacuum all morning. Then I get
the paper. The rest of the afternoon, I sit on the couch and watch
court TV. After that, I read the paper, and then I go to bed and
watch old movies. Am I getting through to you! Me! Vacuum!
Vodka!"
    "That’s okay with me," he said.
    "Then you are an idiot. What kind of life
could we possibly have together?"
    "Well," he said. "That’s a good question. The
truth is, I kind of have this fantasy in my head about what it
would be like. In my fantasy, if it ever came about that we found
ourselves together, then I would take an early retirement. I
wouldn’t have much money, but I have a friend who lives in a
trailer on 20 acres in Dos Palos and breeds police dogs, and he
wants to partner up with me. We’d move to Dos Palos and live in a
double-wide somewhere on the 20