Free Loving Lydia (Atlantic Divide) by Diane Saxon Page A

wasn’t like she could do anything about it. She had no idea where he was. According to Jack, it was in his nature to take himself off for a few days if he was upset. He’d done it since he was a boy, and he would brood until he felt better. Which she realized may not be any time soon. Jack had said their mother would kick his ass if she thought he’d taken himself off on the range for a few days because he didn’t want to face down a problem. That’s the way Sam handled things though, quiet and thoughtful. He believed it was better to back off for a while, let a situation calm down, and then approach it from a different angle. Thinking time, Jack had called it.
    Problem was, she knew it was her fault that he’d disappeared, and it made her heart ache to think she’d hurt him when she’d lashed out at him.
    It was fear that made her act that way. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to go out with him so much as he’d assumed that he could just go right ahead and organize her life like she didn’t have a say in the matter. It had made her head buzz and her teeth grind, but when she’d said she didn’t want to go out with him, she hadn’t meant she didn’t want him, more that she wanted to make her own decisions, take her time. Most of all, she didn’t want to be bullied into anything.
    It surprised her that he’d slunk off to lick his wounds. She didn’t think he was the type to give up that easily. The ranch was a big place, It might be a while until she saw him again, and the frustration of waiting for him to turn up was starting to take its toll.
    She would have felt better if she could have apologized to him before he’d disappeared. Carl said he took off. Gone to visit the herd they’d recently moved to the far end of their land. In the meantime, Carl saw to the kids’ riding lessons. Even Aaron and Rose missed Sam and had started to whine about his absence.
    So, she waited for three days, and in waiting became anxious. In her anxiety, she became more withdrawn and irritable.
    On the fourth evening when Jack mentioned that Sam had arrived back, she was virtually hyperventilating. The children sensed her unease and took so much longer to settle down. She read them an extra story each to try and compensate for being distracted, so that when they eventually snuggled down and closed their eyes, it was later than usual. By the time she’d changed into something pretty and feminine, it was starting to get dark.
    She headed out toward the stables with the thought that if he wasn’t there, she would probably have to walk over to his house. It was a considerable distance, but if she didn’t do it, she was going to be awake all night again. The thought crossed her mind that perhaps she should have just kept her jeans on for practical purposes, but she’d wanted to grab his attention long enough that perhaps she didn’t have to grovel.
    So she’d changed into a floaty, black skirt with dark purple dahlias printed randomly through the material. Her plain, purple T-shirt made it look as though she hadn’t made too much of an effort. The shoes she wore had sweet little kitten heels, which were hardly practical for walking long distances.
    She hadn’t been to his house yet. He’d never invited her. She supposed it was because he always worked on the stable side of the ranch. Not for the last few days though.
    Her nerves jittered as she stepped into the quiet stables. The horses stamped and snorted when they heard her, but she wasn’t going to be fooled this time. She’d keep her mouth shut until she knew just who was in there. She knew Jack wasn’t there because he was still with Kate, but she didn’t need anyone to witness her humiliation. Her pulse hammered in the base of her throat as she walked silently through to the end of the stables. She peered into each darkened stall until she reached the end.
    There was no one there at all. She turned around in frustration and started to make her way back