Free Outcast by Susan Oloier

considered statutory rape.”
    I choked on my bread and whispered, “Who said anything about sex?”
    “Come on, Noelle. This is the twenty-first century. You’ve gone through puberty.”
    “I just think he’s cute. That’s all.”
    “Mmm hmm. What do you expect from him? Holding hands while you walk through the mall? Teenage boys want sex. There’s no way around it.”
    She must have noted the look of shock on my face because she continued. “It’s not as though I’m telling you something you wouldn’t find out for yourself later. I’m just saving you years of trouble and heartache.”
    “I just wanted someone to talk to. That’s all.”
    “Well, if that’s all you want, that’s all you’ll get. But I’ll just say this: jealously can work wonders when it comes to love.”
    She picked up the check and spoke into it. “I know you’re a sensitive person, Noelle. We’ll have to break you of that.” She almost spoke her last sentence as an aside. “But what Chad and Grace don’t know won’t hurt them.”
    I felt more confused than before my meeting with P.
    “Just consider it,” she lightly encouraged. “It’s a simple solution to all of your problems. When you need that additional advice, you know where to find me.” She glanced at her watch. “Better get you home before your mother sends out a search party.”
    As she stood to leave, she said, “By the way, I’m taking you to Chicago for winter break. Maybe that will cure you of your conscience.”
    Chicago ? She didn’t even ask if I already had plans for the break. She simply assumed I would go with her. I wanted to be angry, but it was Chicago . How could I be upset with that?
    “What about mom?”
    “I’ll take care of her.”
     
    When I walked in the door, I was greeted with a scornful look from my mother. I felt sure she knew about my secret rendezvous with Aunt P and my skipping afternoon classes. Story lines raced through my head: Aunt P dated a German soldier and was helping me with a class project for German class . Or Aunt P took me to church and the service ran long; by the time we looked at the clock it was two forty-five .
    “A boy called.”
    She stood cross-armed with the message gripped tightly in her hand like a found pregnancy test.
    “You know we have specific rules around here. No dating until you’re sixteen. Last time I checked, your birth certificate indicated you’re still fourteen.”
    “I’m not dating anyone.”
    “Then why does a boy have your phone number?”
    “I don’t know. Maybe for sex.” It slipped out. It was Aunt P’s influence. I never would have said it otherwise.
    “What did you just say?”
    “I was kidding.”
    “Go to your room.”
    “I said I was kidding.”
    “In this house, we do not kid about sex. Go to your room. And don’t bother coming down for dinner. Your father and I will discuss your punishment and notify you later.”
    I stood stubbornly, but didn’t move.
    “Now!”
    I turned toward the stairs, slogging upward. “At least I’m not the one actually having sex.”
    “What’s that supposed to mean?”
    “I don’t know. Maybe you should talk to Becca.”
    I walked up the stairs, not waiting for her response.
    As I moped in my bedroom, I hashed over the words of wisdom Aunt P imparted to me. I desperately wanted to get back at Trina, but I didn’t know if I cared to do it at the expense of Grace and Chad . They were innocent parties and there was something inherently wrong about playing friends like pawns. Besides, I liked Chad . He was nice. Cute. Sweet. I just could not, in any way, fall for him. The problem was, I was afraid I already had.
    I decided, for now, to wash away my hatred as though it was writing drawn in beach sand. I pulled out my journal and let my loathing for Trina vomit onto its pages.
     
    Grounded. Excessive, I thought. But that was my mother.
    “Noelle,” Chad chased me down in the hallway outside of homeroom.
    “Hey.” I tried to be