Free All I Want Series Boxset, Books 1-3: All I Want for Christmas, All I Want for Valentine's, All I Want for Spring by Clare Lydon Page B

plan. But it seems like I get pregnant at the drop of a hat, so that’s one of the upsides of switching teams. I don’t need to worry about that any more.” She didn’t look me in the eye.
    “As soon as we kissed, I knew I was gay,” I said. “No boy had ever made me feel like that.” Apparently I didn’t do small talk today either. I stared at the table, not daring to look up. Her gaze was already scorching the side of my face. “So yes, I’ve thought about you since, which is why I was so surprised when you turned up the other night. And that you were marrying Melanie.”
    She gazed at me and bit her lip. “I know. Which is why I thought we should meet up. Because of how we left things.”
    “Badly?” So badly, I wanted to curl up on the library floor and never move again? Did she know my whole world shifted, and then she just whipped the rug from underneath me and walked away without a single look back?
    I picked up the small pink packet of sugar lounging in my saucer, folded the top, then put it down again. All the while, I avoided Nicola’s gaze. If she wanted me to just consign our kiss to history and not acknowledge what it was, I couldn’t. Our kiss made me realise I was a lesbian. Our kiss meant something. Still, it upset me how much it still meant. Maybe Holly had a point — maybe I did cling on to things.
    When I eventually risked looking at Nicola, her face was hesitant. “I had no choice but to leave — my parents were adamant.” She sighed and fidgeted with her spoon. “And then after I left and had the miscarriage, I went to sixth form and met Callum. He was lovely. But I got pregnant again within a year, he proposed and I said yes.” She shrugged. “But it was never going to work, because, well…”
    “You’re gay?” I finally glanced in her direction to see her answer.
    She nodded. “Yes, because I’m gay. Callum was pretty good about it all really, considering. We still see each other because of Heath, but that’s it.”
    “And you met Melanie online?”
    She nodded. “I had a couple of girlfriends before her — being a firefighter is a help, women throw themselves at you.”
    I cleared my throat. “I bet.”
    “But Melanie, she was just… different. And I’m ready to put down some roots. And I want the stability for Heath too — a loving home with two parents.”
    If Nicola was thinking she’d have a stable home with Melanie involved, I didn’t want to be the one to break it to her that she might not be the perfect person to pick.
    “How old’s Heath?” I said, changing the subject.
    “Six — I’ll show you a picture.” She fished her iPhone out of her bag and pulled up a photo of a gap-toothed boy with both thumbs up.
    “He looks like you.” And he did — the same almond eyes, the same mouth.
    She smiled. “Everyone says that.” She drank some more coffee.
    I cleared my throat and she looked up.
    “What?”
    I shook my head. “Nothing.”
    Nicola crossed her legs and regarded me. “You were going to say something, so please, say it.”
    I rolled my thoughts around my head. Was honesty always the best policy? Not in my experience.
    “It’s just… don’t you think you’re rushing into it a bit with Melanie? You haven’t known each other that long, and there’s Heath to consider.”
    Nicola smiled. “And now you’re sounding like my mum whose response was exactly that.” She looked me in the eye. “But Melanie asked, and sometimes, if something feels right, you just have to take the leap and take a chance. I’m a big believer in that. I took a chance on Callum, but it didn’t work. I’m going to give me and Melanie my best shot.”
    It didn’t sound like the ideal premise for a marriage.
    “Have you set a date yet?” I was keeping my voice calm despite the fact my insides were jangling.
    “New Year’s Eve,” she said, before holding up her hands. “And I know what you’re going to say — it’s too quick. But when you find the right