Free The Less Than Perfect Wedding by Sam Westland Page A

uncomfortably in front of it, trying not to knock over any of the unstable stacks of paper.
    After scraping himself into the seat behind his desk, Father Hemley peered up at us over the rims of his spectacles. "Now, what's wrong with the sermon that I've written?" he asked. "I have already started on it; I'm sure my notes must be somewhere around here..."
    Before the dear Father began to rummage through his stacks of paper once again, I jumped right in. "Father, we were hoping that you could speak more about acceptance, and maybe about the importance of putting others before yourself." I had given up on subtly hinting to my family that they should respect me, and was now going for the obvious sign.
    "Yes - I've never cheated on Danielle, or on any other woman!" Alex cut in. "And I certainly don't have any plans to!" He reached back and wrapped one arm around my waist, tugging me in closer.
    Father Hemsley peered at us. "Are you sure? I did have some lovely bits down here about burning in Hell forever. I was quite proud of them, in fact." Once again, he began rummaging through the papers spread in a thick layer across the desk.
    It took an inordinate amount of time, but Alex and I finally managed to convince the dear Father that he needed to make some sweeping changes to the sermon. As we finally left the tiny, cramped office, heading out to our car, all alone in the parking lot, I was rummaging in my purse for the sheet of paper that I had grabbed from the priest, the email that had contained my mother's original sermon 'suggestions.' As I climbed into the passenger side of the car, I could feel myself growing angrier and angrier as I read the paper. As Alex climbed into the driver's seat next to me, I began reading passages out loud, my tone shocked and furious.
    "Listen to this!" I fumed. "'Marriage is a lifetime vow, and breaking it is a one-way ticket to Hell . . . Infidelity used to be punishable by death by stoning . . . Cheaters will burn!' How dare she try and use our wedding to say these things about my father!"
    Alex started up the car, but didn't put the vehicle in gear right away. For a long minute, he put his head down on the wheel in front of him. "Honey, can I say something about your mother, without judgment?" he asked quietly.
    I looked sidelong at him. "You know what? Go right ahead."
    Both hands on the wheel, Alex hauled himself up slightly, still slumped forward. "Your mother," he said slowly, "may be the devil."
    I knew that I should defend my mother, knew that I should stand up for my family. But as I crumpled the email printout in my hands, I just couldn't quite motivate myself to do so.

The Dress
    *
    With the wedding only a couple of months away, I could put it off no longer - it was time for me to finally buy my wedding dress. I knew that I would have to invite my mother along, and I was fairly certain that my mother would bring my sister as well. Between my mother's attempts to control everything around her, and my sister's determination to be the absolute center of attention, I didn't doubt for a second that I would have my hands full.
    For this reason, I decided that I would have to weight the bench in my favor. Sally was coming along, of course, since she knew all of the colors and themes that would be included in the wedding, but I suspected that she wouldn't be able to stand up against my mother's iron-willed determination to have her own way. Claire, on the other hand, didn't give a crap about staying on my mother's good side, and I knew that she wouldn't hesitate to shut my sister up. She truly was an invaluable friend.
    In order to help weight the bench in my favor as well, I decided that I would also invite along Judy, my older coworker and newest self-appointed wedding assistant. Judy didn't know much about what was happening with my parents, but I was hoping that, as a fellow older woman who had instead chosen to remain single, she would be able to show my mother that it wasn't all doom