had finished the job.
He was watching her closely now. âIf I could undo that day, I would, believe me. I hadnât realized what a big deal that was to you. To me it was a misunderstanding. I figured I would explain and weâd make jokes about Shortyâs sexual appetites. I never for a moment thought youâd up and leave.â
âYou could have come after me,â she said, unwilling to fully accept blame.
âI was sure youâd come back. I was an idiot. By the time I figured out you were gone for good, I was out of the country on a mission. When I came back, you were deployed.â
âThere were other things that didnât work between us. The drinking scared me, too.â
He looked surprised for a moment, then the expression slid off his face. âBecause of your father?â
She nodded.
âWe werenât alcoholics for heavenâs sake. We had some good times. We drank. Thatâs what guys do when theyâre on leave. We were just a bunch of dumb-asses trying to outdo each other in whatever ways we could.â
He was right. She knew he was. She didnât want to talk anymore about it, saw no sense in dredging up the past. She said nothing.
âHow can you pretend itâs over? You canât tell meyou donât feel something. Some of what we had is still there.â
Yes. Her body still hummed with the power of his kiss. âItâs not enough,â she said.
âIâm not giving up.â Determination filled his eyes.
âFair warning.â She nodded. âBut this time Iâm not giving in.â
He blew out the candle, and she could hear the sleeping bags rustle as he lay on his back. âYou drive me crazy.â
âSee?â She seized on his words. âIt shouldnât be like that. When a relationship is meant to be, it should beââ she searched for the right words.
âNice and easy?â
âIâm pretty sure thatâs a hair-color brand.â She rolled her eyes in the darkness. âBut easier, yes.â
âWhy?â He wouldnât let it go. âWhatâs wrong with difficult, as long as itâs worth fighting for?â
âYou can talk your way out of anything.â She huffed, frustrated.
âItâs just one of my many special skills,â he said in a suggestive tone.
âAnd you never can stay serious long enough.â But she couldnât help a smile.
God, she had missed him.
âHow is Grandpa Fergus?â
He didnât respond at first. âDoing good now.â
âNow?â
âHe had some trouble with cancer, but he beat it. We all knew he would. Heâs way too stubborn to admit defeat.â
âJeez, who does that remind me of?â she joked, but the news shook her, although sheâd only met the old man once. He was a real character, that one.
Mike used to entertain her with his grandfatherâs outrageous highland tales during the endless hours of guard duty theyâd pulled together.
Snow fell on the tent above them, the crystals frozen enough to make a sound.
They listened to that and the wind. Her mind ran through the past as Mike lay still next to her. He was probably mulling over whatever X-rated thoughts he usually entertained himself with at bedtime.
âMy back is hanging out of the cover,â he said after a while, justifying her suspicions.
âYou just want to get closer.â
âIf I get sick, Iâm not going to be much help to you. If you have no pity in your heart for me, at least consider the importance of our mission.â
The man would not quit. Might as well give him a snuggle if he was willing to be content with it. God knew, she had little resistance should he set his mind to something more.
âCome closer, then,â she said.
He did, snug against her back, his heat immediately spreading through her body. âBrings back some memories, doesnât it?â he