Free Delecto - Games of Mastery (part 1) by Katrina Liss Page B

singing.
I was already enthralled, a dozen words in.
    ...One love
that is shared by two
    I have found
with you
    Like a rose
under the April snow
    I was always certain love would
grow ...”
    To say I was
gobsmacked was the understatement of my life and I was not easily
impressed.
    I almost forgot
what my fingers were doing. Her voice was angelic, haunting, hair
raising, but with a tiny catch that tugged at my heart. I stared at
her with newly opened eyes; the long curls tumbling down her
breasts; the face of my dreams; and now, the voice from heaven. She
continued through to the end, the two of us locked in a stare.
    As she finished
her final, lengthy, evergreen, the both of us trailing off, my
heart skipped a long, long beat. The silence strained between us
like a heavy mist of utter disbelief. I don't think she could
believe she'd produced that, and neither could I.
    “ You've
sung that many times before, haven't you?” I whispered. It was more
a statement than a question.
    She shook her
head. “No...once or twice, at home, on my own.”
    “ You've
got such a beautiful voice. Would you sing something else for
me?”
    Her smile lit
up the whole room. It was so dazzling.
    “ What
about The Way We Were? 'Memories... light the corners of my mind...
'...can you play that one?” she half sung to prompt me.
    “ Let me
think for a second... Barbra Streisand again...and...Gladys Knight
did it....I think I've got it in the mind bank....yep,
definitely... let me practice first...”
    I began to
play, getting the feel. She stared at me, and I stared back.
Something happened between us in that look, and I really don't know
what it was. A bond forming or some kind of connection?
    I moved on from
my extended introduction and gave her the sign.
    “ Memories,
    Light the
corners of my mind
    Misty
water-colored memories
    Of the way we
were
    Scattered
pictures
    Of the smiles
we left behind
    Smiles we gave
to one another
    For the way we
were
    Can it be that
it was all so simple then?
    Or has time
re-written every line?
    If we had the
chance to do it all again
    Tell me, would
we?
    Could we?
....”
    As I listened
to her singing, it was almost as if we were no longer in the room.
We were an altered state of being, rising above and beyond the
mortal one.
    And the song
hit me with such a powerful punch in my gut.
    But it wasn't
in a good way.
    Its words
reminded me, far too painfully, of my own better times, before
Savannah died, before I became what I am. Everything really was so
simple then. Not like now. My life had become a screwed up, fucking
mess. My head was ruined. Ruined in a way I could do nothing about.
Nothing could erase those kind of memories...nothing. Once again,
like in my dreams, the dreams that still haunt me...I'm seeing her
floating, face down. Sixteen and snuffed out, like a brightly
burning candle, extinguished in the water. One that I may as well
have drowned with my own hand.
    My heart was
bleeding as I listened and forced myself to play along. I could
hardly concentrate as my eyes had blurred so badly and I choked at
the salty sting at the back of my throat. Misery flooded me. I was
hoping she saw my glassy eyes as an emotional tribute to her
singing, because the real reason I was choking back tears was a
stomach sickening reminder, a shattering memory of what could have
been and the contrast with the way things were now. It was only the
length of time which had elapsed, since her drowning, that had
hardened me to it, or else I'd have lost the battle to keep myself
in check. That really wasn't something I'd want Amanda, or anyone,
to see. Men did their crying in private. I was a strong advocate of
that.
    I raised my
gaze to hers, pulling myself back from the brink with a harsh
intake of breath and a deep gulp.
    I was
overwhelmed as a tear trickled down her cheek.
    Oh no... don't.. . please. ..
    Whatever memory
was stirring her mind was just as painful as the one in mine. I
could see it. At that moment the words she