Free Keep Calm and Carry a Big Drink by Kim Gruenenfelder Page B

thing doesn’t mean I don’t have opinions. And just because I’m not telling all of my friends we had a fight doesn’t mean I’m wrong.”
    “No one thinks you’re a jerk. You’re one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met.”
    Scott clearly doesn’t believe me, but he gives me a sincere “Thanks.” He takes another sip of his coffee, deep in thought. “You know what happened when I tried to stand up for myself about my work space? Instead of discussing it like rational adults, she accused me of keeping it because I was planning on having an affair. Then she got it into her head that if I wanted to keep the place, this was my safety hatch and represented a subconscious need to stay a bachelor, so maybe she should do me a favor and not marry me.”
    I cringe and shake my head slowly. “Sorry. Believe me, she does not mean that. You’re her dream guy. You’re the man she pined over and bored all of us about every day for a year before you finally kissed her. ‘What’s he mean by this text?’ ‘He kissed me hello—do you think that means anything?’ ‘If I wore a mask to the Halloween party, do you think I could kiss him without him knowing it was me?’”
    Scott rolls his eyes self-consciously at my compliment, but grins. “Really? A mask?”
    “I never told you that—” I warn him.
    Scott shakes his head, clearly amused. “Did she really think that would work?”
    I shrug. “Desperate times, desperate measures.”
    Scott, still smiling, nods. “Wow.” He blurts out in amusement, “She is such a geek!”
    “Such a geek,” I concur.
    Scott continues to smile, looking up at the ceiling a moment. “I love that. Thank you. I needed to hear that.”
    “Anytime you need stories for how ridiculously in love your wife is, come to me. So are you guys okay?”
    “We’re good.”
    “Excellent.” I stand up. “Okay, this coffee isn’t working for me. I have got to take a nap if we’re seeing Nic and Jason tonight.”
    Scott smiles and wags his eyebrows up and down. “Did ya get any?”
    “Shut up! No.”
    “But you’re gonna get some?”
    I might have taken a little too long to respond to his question. I shrug. “I don’t know. It’s complicated.”
    “Relationships always are, darlin’.”
    “If things are bothering you, talk to her.”
    Scott keeps smiling as he waves his hand back and forth in a mezzo mezzo fashion. “Maybe after the wedding, once things have calmed down. In the meantime, do you think maybe I could do some of my work in the living room if I get inspired? Sort of a trial run?”
    “Go for it.” Then I add awkwardly, “You know, you’ll have my bedroom to work in soon. I promise I’ll be gone by the time you guys get back from safari.”
    “Don’t rush. We have time.”
    “Thanks. But I don’t want to be in the middle of that loft fight.”
    “It’s not a fight. It’s just…” Scott shrugs. “Life. It’s fine.”
    “Okay.” I take my coffee to the sink, rinse it out, then putter out of the kitchen. I stop and turn around. “By the way, don’t be mad at me.”
    His eyes widen as if to ask, About what?
    I’m embarrassed to have to tell him. “I bought you guys those sheets.”
    Scott nods and smiles. “Well, when you get married, I’ll return the favor and buy you an Xbox.”
    A minute later, I am back in my room and climbing under my covers. As I drift off to sleep, my thoughts soon drift away from premarital drama, and over to predating temptation.

 
    N INE
    After Seema and Jay spent the afternoon together, they and Scott and I meet up with Jason and Nic at a local Thai restaurant to enjoy one last relaxed meal before all the wedding insanity begins.
    As we stuff ourselves with piles of pad see ew, garlic-and-pepper shrimp, sweet-and-sour pork, and eight other specialties of the house, Nic and Jason compete with Seema and Scott in a homemade version of The Newlywed Game . Fortunately, since Jay and I have been dating for all of about six hours, we