fun—”
“We can’t spend our lives running!”
“We’re not running, we’re taking back control. What’s wrong with that?”
Everything , she wanted to scream. Everything’s wrong with it! Instead she forced herself to speak steadily. “Tell me why you won’t adopt.”
“I…” He shook his head, faltered.
“Tell me!”
Still there was silence, he wasn’t even looking at her – he was looking away.
“Rob!”
“Because… I’m happy with the way things are, I’m happy with it just being us.”
And there it was: the truth. He was happy. Who cared about anyone else?
Her voice when she spoke was venomous. “I hate you sometimes, do you know that, Rob Henderson? I hate you with every bone in my body! I wish we’d never come here, I wish we were back in England, or I was back in England, you can do what the hell you like. I don’t care anymore. You’re an emotional coward, a selfish bastard. You bury things instead of facing them, and you want me to do the same, put on a happy face, smile and be content. But I can’t, I’m not content. I’m not the one who’s infertile either. I got pregnant once, before I met you, but I miscarried. I kept it secret from you, but not any longer, you need to know, you’re to blame for everything. It’s all your fault.”
So many emotions, from anger and disbelief to deep, deep hurt, played across his face as she spoke. And the words, once spoken, couldn’t be retracted. She didn’t want to retract them, did she? She didn’t know. Her mind felt so clouded, as if time really had slipped away, reality too, as if they were on some dark but dramatic stage, and any minute the audience was going to clap at a fine portrayal of a marital breakup, were going to roar in fact, to stand and cheer their performance. The sound would be deafening, it would bring the house down around them, the house… the one over the archway. She didn’t want to look. Had carefully avoided looking on their way here tonight. But now she couldn’t resist.
Who are you? The words formed in her mind of their own volition. What do you want with me? Her gaze was drawn upwards. She hadn’t noticed a curtain at the window the first time she’d seen it, but there were curtains now – they looked like lace, the fabric thin, so delicate and swaying slightly. Was there someone behind them, reaching out, parting them? If she continued to look would she see a hand – more than that, a figure?
She looked away. “Rob?” He was gone again, but where? She hadn’t seen him leave. “Rob!” She turned on her heel, scanned the distance in front of her. It was empty.
Nonetheless, she darted forward, propelled herself underneath the archway, frantic to be away from there. Where was he? Was she the only one left on the stage? No. She wasn’t alone. She knew that. She hadn’t been since arriving in Venice.
“Rob!” Her throat was starting to hurt from all the shouting she’d done. How come she hadn’t seen him go? Too busy looking upwards, that’s why; entranced.
A flash of someone in the distance, not dressed in white – thank God – but tall and dark, someone she knew. And she did know him, his flaws and his attributes. And he knew her flaws too. Yet still he was happy. He’d said so.
Breaking into a run, she forced herself to go faster. “Wait! Wait for me!”
He didn’t wait, he kept on walking but she noticed his pace slowed slightly. Even so, he was in no mood for talking. That was fine, she accepted that. It was enough just to be by his side as he led them away from the archway, towards the hotel and safety.
Chapter Ten
Even though the lobby lights were glaring, they were a huge comfort – such a contrast to the dark alleyway they’d been in twenty minutes before. So different… except for one thing – the painting – an all too vivid reminder of what had just taken place. Still refusing to speak to her, Rob made his way to the lift and got in. She could
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