tea-colored blouse in the air.
She shrugged. "I know."
"Don't you want to go through them? And see what you'd like to keep?"
She shook her head. "It won't bring her back. Come on, I'll help you stack them in a corner someplace."
I put the blouse down. George went back to Pa's things.
Ann and I had never been close. She was closer to Frances, who spent all her time going to lectures at Transylvania and teas, and sewing things for when it was her time to go to Springfield. Was Ann hiding her true feelings for Ma? Or did she truly not care?
We found an old blanket and wrapped Ma's clothes in them. "I'm going to ask for that shawl," I said, pointing to a black silk one.
"Don't bother," Ann said. "I heard Betsy say everything up here was going out to the first gypsies who came through."
I made a note to ask Pa for what I wanted. Not now, though, not today, not with people throwing dead bodies out their windows and Old Sol collecting boxes and chests for coffins. Pa was a city councilman. He would be busy.
B Y THE END OF SUMMER the cholera was past and we who were boarding at Mentelle's were allowed to move our things into our rooms. Pa sent Nelson to accompany me with my baggage and Mama's gold and white ladies' desk in the wagon. Nelson was to carry everything upstairs.
The moving took near all day, and when I got home, the first thing I did was go up to the attic to get the clothes from Ma that Pa said I could have.
They would be kept at Grandma Parker's. She had agreed to it.
I went across the attic room to open the blanket. The clothes were not there! They were gone.
I stood stunned for a minute, thinking. Where had they gone? Had Nelson brought them to Grandma Parker's? I held the empty blanket in my hand, wondering.
Had Ann or Frances become interested in them after all?
And then I was struck with fear. Betsy! And I knew where the clothing had disappeared to.
I went downstairs on shaky legs. I heard her in the kitchen, talking to Mammy Sally about supper.
She saw me standing in the doorway. "So, you're home. How did the moving go? Did you get your room in order?"
I had the empty blanket in my hands. She saw it but said nothing.
"Where is my mama's clothing that was in the corner of the attic in this blanket?" I asked.
"Heavens, Mary, you wanted that old stuff?"
"Where is it?"
"Some strolling players came through today. I gave it to them."
"You gave away my mama's blue taffeta dress? Her lace collars? Her black fringed shawl from New Orleans?"
"Well, it was all old and moth-eaten. What could you possibly want with it?"
"That was for me to decide!" I was crying. Tears were coming down my face. "Pa said I could have it. Nobody else wanted it. Grandma Parker was going to keep it for me."
I was full of rage. And her becalmed manner enraged me more. She had done it to spite me, I was sure of it.
"The attic had to be cleaned out." She raised her voice just a bit. "We're moving."
"I know you're moving. To your fancy new house on Main Street. With all the big new rooms and the red damask curtains and the Belgian carpets. It's all you talk about. All you care about."
She turned on me. "Don't you think, Mary Todd, that I deserve a big new house? Don't you ever think how difficult it's been here with all these children in such close quarters? Don't you ever think of anybody but yourself?"
I turned to run and bumped into Pa.
"What's this?" He put his hands on my shoulders to stop me.
"She threw out Ma's clothes. The ones you said I could have. She gave them away!"
"Don't call your stepmother 'she,' Mary. Show some respect."
Respect! I glared up at him. "Don't you care? I wanted to save those clothes. They were all I had left of Ma."
"You have the desk," Betsy put in.
"Yes, and I aim to keep it away from you," I told her.
"Enough, Mary," Pa said.
I ran. As I ran up the stairs to my room I heard Pa asking, "What is wrong with that child?"
"I don't know, Robert, but you'd better rush right out and buy
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