she’d wanted.
But who did she want now? The civilized man, or the man who struggled to do the right thing, who loved his daughter and accepted his own shortcomings?
“Yeah.” He toyed with his water glass, staring down at it. “I never claimed to be a doctor, even. Zelle and I ended up out here after a while with one of the wagon trains, and…” He sighed, and Meri realized that it was the first time she’d heard about his past. So his wife hadn’t died out here? He’d come west with just his daughter. “I helped a few people on the train. Wounds, setting broken bones. Pulling a few teeth, figuring how much laudanum to give, that sort of thing.”
He looked up, met her eyes, and quickly glanced away. Was it on accident that his gaze landed on the shelf of books in the corner? “Mostly things I’d learned from books, and then we got here last fall, and people expected that from me...” She’d known him less than a week, but knew that books were important to him. Knew that, although he struggled to read, he valued the knowledge found within them. He wasn’t a civilized, learned man…but he was trying to be.
In that moment, Meri knew. Knew that he was who she wanted, no matter what other secrets he kept from her. Reaching across the table, she placed her hand on his forearm, and felt the muscles jump under her fingers. Watched him swallow and keep his gaze firmly locked across the room. “I admire that about you, Jack. Even if you didn’t go to medical school, you’re helping people, and that’s what I think is important.”
A quick nod, and then he stood, pulling his arm out from beneath her touch. Her fingers still tingled, but now felt…empty somehow. Picking up his plate, he moved to the basin. “I just wanted you to know.”
“I think that you did wonderfully, yesterday.” They’d arrived at the Millers’ home to find an extremely worried Mrs. Spratt—who was comforted by her husband—and a woman who’d been laboring for almost a full day. Mr. Miller and his two older daughters seemed supremely uninterested in the goings-on, popping their heads in occasionally to demand to know if Mrs. Miller was going to make dinner that night or if they’d have to make it again , and if she’d be up to sewing a pinafore tomorrow. Becoming more and more incensed at their callous attitude, Meri finally banned them from the room, and helped Mrs. Miller deliver another fine little blonde-haired girl.
Jack had been there the whole time, fetching and cleaning things that she’d requested. He didn’t even turn away, although Meri could tell that their patient was uncomfortable with a male doctor. It was just another example of how he was always ready to learn something new, and she really admired that about him.
After, she’d lectured Mr. Miller about letting his wife rest, warning that she wasn’t going to recover if he continued to make demands of her, but he seemed unimpressed. The baby—Sibyl—was already being fawned over by her sisters by the time Jack and Meri headed back to town, and she hoped that the other girls would help out around the house, at least. When she’d mentioned that to Jack as they sat on the back of Mr. Spratt’s sleigh, he snorted. Not a positive sign.
And now, rather than acknowledging her compliment, he was washing the dishes. She’d noticed that he wasn’t comfortable with praise, and either turned it away or ignored it, and she wondered why. But she couldn’t deny that she liked the fact that he didn’t expect her to do all of the domestic chores; she’d been taught to do them as a girl, but during her years of medical school she hired out most of the work anyhow. It was surprisingly egalitarian to meet a man who split the housework with her. She supposed it was because he’d done it all by himself for so long, but at least he wasn’t expecting his wife—
Meri sighed. Jack didn’t want a wife. He didn’t send those advertisements, remember ? So why was he