Free Something Borrowed by Louisa George Page B

not relevant. But it is. I grieve now for every lost soul I read about—somebody’s husband, somebody’s son, somebody’s father—it’s like having my chest ripped open again. Raw. I feel raw. And I can’t ever let myself love someone so much that I feel this much pain without them.
    Actually, there are days where I feel nothing at all, and that scares me even more. I need to feel something for little Evie and I… just… can’t.
    I know you lost your good friend—and more now too, for which I’m so very sorry. I know it feels as if there’s a part of your heart that’s gone forever. A part that was truly only theirs and that you’ll never get back.
    No. It feels as if someone has punched my heart right out of my body.
    I hope you had a good Christmas and birthday, and that Santa brought you something nice even in all that heat. I’m grateful I don’t know where you are because there are some terrible things happening out there, and I’d just be glued to the TV looking for you.
    We had a very quiet Christmas with just family. None of us felt like celebrating, although Mum and Chloe tried hard to make it special for Evie’s first Christmas. I took Evie over to Ollie’s mum and dad’s for Boxing Day, but we all sat around trying to smile for the baby’s sake. In the end, I said she was overly excited by all the presents and brought her home. Mostly I just like it when I’m home, surrounded by my familiar things. By Ollie’s.
    I didn’t go to the school reunion this year. I couldn’t face all those pitying faces. But I did bump into Sandy Christiansen in the market, and she said she was engaged to a Canadian guy and was moving over there in the summer. I guess she’s probably almost there by now. People keep on living their lives—I must try to start doing that—or at least not envy that they can live theirs when I feel as if mine is over.
    I’ll try to write again when I’m in a better headspace.
    Jenna x

Chapter 6
    B y Tuesday , Chloe was starting to get a little desperate. None of the online men had seemed quite suitable, and she wasn’t just being fussy. There simply wasn’t anyone who ticked the boxes. She was running out of time to vet a date and deem him capable of conversation, nice enough to actually spend an evening with, and suitably house trained.
    ‘Today’s love matches are mostly a repeat of yesterday’s, with a couple of novelty ones thrown in. Here we have PrinceAlbert . I really hope that doesn’t mean what I think it means,’ she mused to Jenna who was over with Evie for a marathon Jane Austen evening and sleepover. Evie was settled in bed in the spare room, and there was a chilled chardonnay with Chloe’s name on it. She just wanted to get through today’s offerings with a clear head before she consumed alcohol. ‘I’ve messaged a couple, and I’m just waiting to hear back. It’s worse than waiting for blood test results.’
    Jenna pushed her sideways to make room on the sofa and peered over her shoulder. ‘Just do some random click-throughs.’ She grabbed the laptop. ‘Come here, let me do it. How about FantasticFreddie ?’
    ‘The one from Essex? I tried him the other day; he didn’t answer. You know, I think you’re enjoying this. Looking, but not touching. Doesn’t it make you just a little bit intrigued to know what you’re missing out on?’
    ‘Hell no. I’m just vetting for you, that’s all.’ Her sister raised her eyebrows in a warning not to pursue this line of conversation.
    Chloe wasn’t biting. ‘You could sign up too. We could have some double dates. Get out a little.’
    ‘I go out.’ Jenna twisted on the sofa, pulling her feet under her bottom and balancing the laptop on her knees. ‘I go to ballet tots, sing-a-long and story time at the library. I go to nursery and the swing park and the supermarket. Now, back to the task in hand. Let’s find another one quickly, so we can open that wine.’ Jenna scanned the pages. ‘Ugh. MagicMike