The Watercress File: Being the Further Adventures of That Man from C. A. M. P.

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Book: The Watercress File: Being the Further Adventures of That Man from C. A. M. P. by V. J. Banis Read Free Book Online
Authors: V. J. Banis
Tags: Humor, Gay, camp, parody, man from U.N.C.L.E.
showed some surprise at seeing the two of them.
    â€œYou together, or is business just booming?”
    â€œWe’re together,” Honey assured her. For that fact he was grateful. There was no telling what might happen next.
    Marie did not seem to mind in the least. “Who’s first, or do we make it one big party?”
    â€œWe have no secrets from one another,” Honey explained, indicating Gladiola.
    â€œIf that’s how you want it. Better take off your clothes, kid, it’ll save wear and tear.”
    Honey was aghast. “My clothes?”
    Gladiola was even more indignant. “He can do what he wants, but I ain’t takin’ off a stitch.”
    â€œMe neither,” Honey decided.
    â€œSuit yourself. I’ll take mine off, if you don’t mind.” Marie’s clothes were few, but she began without any show of modesty to remove them, starting with the bra.
    â€œNo!” Honey’s face was beet red. “Leave them on, please.”
    â€œAll of them? Are you sure you don’t want me to wrap up in a blanket?”
    â€œI just want to talk to you.” Honey’s voice was virtually a wail.
    â€œTalk?”
    â€œ Yes . We’re not the first ones who have come to see you, are we?”
    â€œNot by a long shot, but you’re the first ones who ever wanted to talk.”
    Despite the fact that she was not too bright, it was Gladiola who began to understand the situation first. A look of comprehension slowly formed on her face as she looked at the puzzled girl, then at Honey.
    â€œHoney,” she began finally, grinning. “I think I’m beginning to understand. I think this here is a house of pleasure.”
    â€œWell, I don’t know if I’d call it that,” Marie said drily. “But it’s a cat house, if that’s what you mean.”
    â€œOh, no.” Honey was at a complete loss.
    â€œOh, yes.”
    His eyes wide with horror at the thought of what might have happened to him, Honey backed toward the door, ready to bolt when he reached the hall.
    â€œI think you better give her that money,” Gladiola said as she followed him more calmly. “After all, we’ve used a lot of her time, and she is a working woman.”

CHAPTER EIGHT
    The list of Bigelows was being rapidly shortened, without any appreciable success. Craig felt a bit of hope when he learned that one of them was a butterfly collector, but that proved to be only coincidence.
    He returned to the house as agreed, to wait for the others to report. Jackie was checking out the last of the Bigelows, so there was nothing to do now but wait and see.
    Mari was there when he arrived. “Any luck?” he asked, without much hope. She shook her head glumly.
    â€œThat man I went to see wouldn’t have enough sense to come in out of the rain,” she told him. “Let alone assassinate anybody.”
    Craig lit a cigarette and seated himself on the couch. Mari went into the kitchen and returned a moment later with a cup of coffee. She had changed clothes on her return home, donning a filmy negligee that did little to conceal any of her ample charms. She walked with a natural suggestiveness that, despite the fact that she was not Craig’s type, he was hard pressed to ignore.
    This had been a peculiar case for him anyway, working with not one but two fairies. Not that he found them as repulsive as he had originally expected; the initial shock had worn off quickly. In fact, it was the opposite that was true, and a puzzling new experience. As he was around Jackie and Honey, he was not only becoming accustomed to their mannerisms, but even found that he liked them. In the past he had always thought of such fellows as freaks, and although he read enough to know that they were all around, he had never knowingly associated with any, so that his prejudice had remained intact.
    He was beginning to understand that men in prison, or the military

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