Free Too Good to Be True by Laurie Friedman Page B

Today, Emily, Kate, and Vanessa walked to thehigh school without me (again).
    At practice, everyone was crowding around Chloe like they had to protect her from me. The other girls were doing everything possible to make me feel like I wasn’t wanted there. They weren’t looking at me or talking to me or even dancing near me when they were supposed to be.
    During the break, I pulled Emily aside. I knew it probably wasn’t the place to do it, but I had to talk to her and I didn’t know where else she would talk to me.
    â€œWhat did you say to everyone?” I asked her.
    She gave me this weird, blank look. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
    I couldn’t believe her. “Emily, you’re the only one I told, and now everyone knows. You said my secrets were safe with you.”
    Emily’s mouth dropped open like she was shocked by what I was saying. “I can’t believe you’re accusing me of telling people your secret,” she said. She crossed her arms across her chest like she was getting more upset by the second. “For your information, when I got to dance yesterday, everyone was already talking about it.”She paused. “Maybe your boyfriend was the one who told people.”
    I wanted to believe she was talking about Billy, but I knew she meant Matt. I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. “I don’t know why you’d call Matt my boyfriend,” I said. “And I don’t think he told anyone.”
    Emily shook her head like it was sad that I couldn’t see the truth. Then Ms. Baumann said break was over and to get back into formation.
    I made it through the rest of practice, but I don’t know how. I’m a pariah. That was one of our vocab words in English. At first, I had to look it up to see what it meant, but now I know firsthand. I’m a snake in the henhouse. A fly at a barbecue. A seagull at a beach picnic. Nobody on the team wants me there.
    We’re on the same page as far as that goes. I don’t want to be there either.
Friday, October 25, 9:47 P.M .
Heartbroken
    Billy hadn’t called or texted or spoken to me all week, so when I came home from dancepractice, I decided to walk Gilligan over to his house and go talk to him. At first, I thought our talk was going well because right when I got to his house, he told me he was actually about to come over to my house because he wanted to talk to me too. We sat down on the steps of his front porch, and Billy told me I could start.
    I wasn’t exactly sure what details he’d heard, but it didn’t matter. I knew he knew I’d kissed Matt. “Billy, I feel awful about what happened,” I said. “I’m really sorry about what I did. I wish with all my heart that I could take it back and make it like it never happened.”
    Billy didn’t say anything. He just sat there quietly and looked at me like he was taking in my side of things and trying to decide what he wanted to say.
    I wanted him to say that he forgave me. “I’m so sorry,” I said. Just knowing that I had a reason to be sorry made me upset. Tears were starting to form in the corners of my eyes. “Billy, I’m so, so sorry.” I just looked at him. I didn’t know how else to tell Billy I was sorry.
    Billy was very matter-of-fact, like he’dthought about and maybe rehearsed what he wanted to say. “April, I appreciate your apology, but we can’t be us anymore. Not like we have been.”
    I wasn’t sure what he was saying. “Are you breaking up with me?” I asked.
    Billy nodded, and that’s when I started crying. Tears were streaming down my face. I looked at Billy. I wanted him to do something sweet and Billy-like—bump my shoulder with his or wipe away my tears with a corner of his T-shirt or tell me not to worry and make a joke out of it.
    But he didn’t do any of those things. He just sat there while I